Monday, December 21, 2009

King of Cups

Doesn't look like I'll be able to go to Berlin. No surprise.

There's masses of snow here, and the temperature in Germany is apparently going to be -10 degree celcius.

Just been sat indoors for the past few days, sleeping bag, coffee, camped next to the radiator reading. Might go visit mum and dad.

It's so cold here, Adam's cup cracked when he poured boiling water into it. I tried hard not to laugh... I own all the cups !!!

Tuesday, December 15, 2009

Apparently Nothing

I continue to drift along trying not to be mental. Always around Christmas time I became more mental than usual. Mumbling on the bus, with all my good intentions I always end with some mental leakage.

I seems to be getting okay passes on my University assignments, though I'm not sure how. Mostly luck I guess. Something I've really taken an interest in is Java serverlets. It took me awhile to get a Java development enviroment and postgreSQL installed on my eeepc, but now I'm all set.

I seems to be a lot of group-work at University, I really hate working in groups.

I must have looked a bit of a clown in Nero coffee shop today. I have holes in my pockets. Firstly, I dropped change into my pockets only for it to fall through my trouser leg bottoms, spilling onto the floor. Then I reached my other pocket to pull-out a stream of paper napkins I'd collected from different coffee shops.

Seriously thinking about a loan to get me to Berlin...maybe.

Happy Christmas, hope you're well. And Cor, don't work too hard !!!

Monday, November 16, 2009

A strange situation happened today. I witnessed the old lady walking ahead of me, fall flat on her face dropping her bag of Christmas cards. As I bent down to pick-up the dropped items. Loose change and bank cards spilt from my pockets onto the street. Suddenly my priorities had changed; I was swarmed by people helping the elderly lady to her feet.

Just my luck, I didn't help, it must have looked like I was pinching her money and credit cards instead.

Saturday, October 31, 2009

Back door Spam

Been doing some research on carbon emissions and data centres.. Went to play badminton with Pouwei and Chris. some kids knocked on the door for Halloween. I never experienced this before but lucky enough Adam's sister paid us a visit yesterday and left some 'Quality Street' chocolates. I emptied half of the tub of chocolates into the kids bags, "there you go mate!!" Meheh!!! Wonder if he notices !!!

Wednesday, September 30, 2009


Being chatted-up by German doctors
drinking eating cris[ps and playing Tekken
walking home drunk through the park thinking about ghost people...

Tuesday, September 22, 2009

Removables and Ghost People

Woke late today at 8:45 am... I had ten minutes to take a shower and get to congregation hall. We have to write a report on Google Books and the Apollo 11 mission..

Went for meeting with my advisor Dr Ben Milner.. I really like Ben despite swearing to never speak to anyone called Ben...ever. It was hard I kept trying to mention topical subject to keep the conversation going. So scared of the lull periods. I spoke of many subjects and probably stuff I shouldn't have mentioned. typical of me, anything to avoid long silent periods.

Went into the city to buy lots of junk food with my new found wealth. I spent almost an hour watching the 'East meets East' projects presentation in the Forum's curve theatre. Part of which featured Alice the Taiko club's teacher I met last Wednesday.

Bumped into Mick the Australian guy who was at No2ID. We talked and joke for awhile and did some vegetable shopping. Heh..

Later I went with Chris to buy some beer from the Tesco metro..then watched Judge Dredd and then Final Fantasty.

Monday, September 21, 2009

Pay Day

Chris has lived with Adam for five days now. He's already talking about trying to kick him out. There's no excuse, we all knew what he was like before we moved in. Though he is really fucking annoying.

Chris and I went for registration. Adam was still in bed and didn't have to register 'till later. It goes my Surname. There's only one thing to mention about registration and that was what happened to the person waiting in front, or for that matter what he did. The queue was stretched down some steps. Between levels, there was a drop either side or the stair. The person in front of Chris and I dropped all his paper-work accidentally over the side. I managed to stifle my laughter as he had to go all the way down two levels to collect it. What was strange was that he then again joined the end of the long queue, and not just reenter where he was previously. AWWWW poor guy. But it was funny...Heh

Chris and I managed to hand-out some NO2ID leaflets. I'm getting use to it, but it's embarrassing when you try hand someone a leaflet and they ignore you. I notice once one person in a group says no, everyone then in that group no-longer feels obliged to say yes.

Later after the usual talks in the conference hall I met with Powie. We went to the CMP party for free coke and pizza.

I went to bed angry because Adam had written over

Sunday, September 20, 2009

Scummy Mummy

Today at Norwich Cathedral they held the 'Battle of Britain' ceremony. I took my seat to the side of the main congregation; it's advisable, as I knew I would slowly become angry. In no-way would I want to disrespect the British Legion. But.... There was a guy I can't name; a large portion of his speech was dedicated to how we're so lucky to have freedom of speech in England. Wtf ??? He was so ill informed. FREEDOM OF SPEECH IS BEING ERODED OR HAS BEEN ERODED NOW.. THIS DAY !!! Why the fuck do they refuse to acknowledge this ?? I kept looking for the exit, and had to bite my lip, but I tried to act normal and not offend.

After I went to the park for the 'Friends of the Earth' music event. I met-up with Tom and Chris on the No2ID stall. There was one other guy from Australia who may get involved. Dr Ian Gibson was there too. He spoke to us about how nobody will listen to the issues of NO2ID. It was good to chill in the sun listening to the music.

Waiting at the bus-stop a strange woman rubbed herself against me..Spooky ??
She was walking past and stepped sideways towards me. She stood with her body against mine and started mumbling something. I guess she was drunk, or pretending to be. She then looked down at my crotch and ask, "what have you got in there?" I ignored her comment and started telling her about NO2ID. She then started asking me questions about what I'm doing at University.

Friday, September 18, 2009

King of Pong

I received another email from Fen, the lady from Beijing. I was quite surprised, wasn't expecting that. Apparently she returned home August the 5th; and said alot of nice things about England.

In the evening Powie came around and we all went to the Sportspark to play table tennis. Later that night we spent a good hour or two in our kitchen trying to bounce the ping-pong ball into a cup... Once you start you just can't stop...

We then watched the film 'American Psycho.' I never noticed before, I think the music in American Psycho is Philip Glass.

Wednesday, September 16, 2009

Rengae Rhythms

I was questioned by community support officers for standing in the cemetery, and looking odd. OK, so I admit it was strange, but it's not for them to judge me and ruin my day. Telling me I'm different and therefore I should be questioned. This has only convinced me even more that ID cards are a very wrong idea.

This evening I attended a Taiko class. It goes without question, everything was awesome. I definitely want to practice with them. There seemed to be an even number of men and women of varied ages, also a young girl of about eight years' old. They had built new drums from bits of industrial tubing and canvass. The woman instructor was so graceful in her movement, with a powerful rhythm.

They are preparing for the demonstration they will give as part of the 'East Meets East' project.

Powie and Chris have returned from summer holiday, we watched the film 'Ghostbusters'.

Tuesday, September 15, 2009

Didn't Know you were Out...

Yterday something unusual happened. I went for my usual at the Forum. As I scanned the faces of the people beside the table I would sit at. I noticed someone familiar. The woman looked like she could be an old friend's mum. No, it was Helen McDermott the presenter from Anglia news. I listened to the conversation she was having with two elderly ladys. I think she maybe appearing in this year's panto.

Started the day listening to 'War of the Words' then the old indie band 'Mudhoney.' In the evening I went to the No2ID meeting at the Workshop. It seems there will be a music event on the weekend. Zero Emissions... we might be setting-up a stall there...

When I returned to the house I could hear Adam and his stupid laugh eminatting from his open window. The front door chain stopped me from entering and there seemed to be a chair wedged up against the handle from the inside. wtf ?? Adam looked out his window, then took about half a minute to let me in. Bode was with him and said some crap about a burgular trap. I couldn't give a shit what they get-up to, so long as it doesn't effect me.

I've drunk lots of Coke and can't sleep now :( I

Sunday, September 13, 2009

Following and Followers

There's this large tall black bloke who lived in the same building as me last year. I keep seeing him on the bus, in the city, and now in the supermarket. I'm worried he thinks I'm following him.

Paid a visit to the NO2ID stall in the city. Show my support, and might goto the meeting Tuesday.

Stood in the dark cemetery again whilst listening to Philip Glasss' Koyaanisquatsi and dancing like a robot. (yeah I know it's not normal) I nearly shat myself when I turned to see a fox had crept up behind me.

Who's Emobile in Tokyo ??? All visitors from Japan usually seem to be coming from the same network. I just assume it's one person on different computers, but Emobile, that's a new one..

Thursday, September 10, 2009


Squeezed through a gap in the railings of a cemetery. I then stood for three hours in the dark. A shiver went down my spine every time I thought about the coffins beneath me.

I'm probably not going to update this blog very often now.

Tuesday, September 08, 2009

SOoon Soon SOOOn So

Spent the day reading about basic cryptography... Watched a film about Allen Turing whilst cracking WEP keys... Spent ages trying to get Adams new wireless card to work properly...Failed. I decided to wrap his computer in tin-foil, just for fun. Still no better.

Monday, August 31, 2009

Beeston Bump_Reloaded

Took the kids to Splash the swimming pool in Sheringham. I refused to pay 1.70 UK pounds to watch people having a good time in the pool, so instead, I went for a walk. I walked the seafront to Sheringham then ran up the Beeston bump. Took a quick photo then back down. If I ever go on the run from the police, I think I will hide-out there... not really :D heh !!!

At night I watched the film:

Sunday, August 30, 2009

Ya Big Promo ..

Went to 'Great Yarmouth Pleasure Beach' today with my sister and family. I can't stand Great Yarmouth. On one occasion when I found myself caught in Yarmouth I considered calling air-sea rescue on the emergency phones to be air lifted to safety.

My sister's kids were very excited, and being with young children seemed to make the experience more bearable. I managed with ninja like reaction to get soaked walking past the log flume much to everyones enjoyment. I can't believe it, I just watched as in slow motion a cascade of water moved towards me, then all over the lower half of my legs. I had to laugh but I felt so stupid hahah!!

Took the kids on the roller coaster and to the penny arcades. I love to see the people who play the machines with a serious look on their face. Loading the machines with coins using two hands, like a real professional.

Most of the rides were very expensive, I waited outside while my sister and the kids looked around a miniature model village. Whilst I was waiting the police had closed the roads to the seafront. There was a procession of trucks.

The 50 or so trucks one by one paraded past waving and sounding their horns. wtf !!! I was bored with trucks even before they had started, let alone after the fiftieth one had rolled by, they all looked the same, just with different company logos. v. strange. How is that even an event ???

Saturday, August 29, 2009

Life's a Drag..SAMU !!!

Woke-up really late today. Spent all morning in bed listening to Spotify the stream music website. Afternoon I went drundling around Norwich looking for work. While I was waiting at the bus-top back into the city I was joined by a strange looking couple. The male of the two was holding to boxes in his arms. They had bought hamsters. They imediately began to light-up their cigarretes causing a nasty smell. I was finding it hard to breath choking on their cigarrette smoke. One of them was commenting on how one of the hamsters poked its nose through one of the air holes. I'M NOT GODDAM SUPRISED !!! I WAS FINDING IT HARD TO BREATH FROM AN ARMS LENGTH AWAY, WHO KNOWS WHAT THE HAMSTER WAS GOING THROUGH WITH FAG SMOKE PIPED INTO ITS LITTLE BOX...

Bumped into Steve down Unthank road. I think he tried to sneak past unoticed but I recognised his green cap, and caught him.

Back at UEA I went to buy cheap biscuits with the very last of my small change. Walking home a girl was being draged by a youngish boy. She seemed to be crying as he yanked at her arm. I shouted over the road, "what are you doing ??" Plane as day he turned to me and said, "I'm taking her to mine." The girl didn't say anything and I watched as he lead her by the arm, away. errr... OK !!! I watched them walk away and then continued home. What can you do ???

I'm off to my parents tonight. My sister is visiting and I want to see my nephew who I haven't seen for a long time..

Friday, August 28, 2009

You Got a Friend

rattled off a few copies of my CV in UEA library. Caught bus into town, as the bus was leaving campus I noticed Miyuki.

Walked about aimlessly for a few hours; not getting into too much trouble.

Adam left a load of spilt rice on the kitchen floor. It's been there for a week now. I decided to sweep and clean the kitchen. After, I went the long walk 'round to the Tesco metro to buy cheap chocolate.

Walking back from the Metro I spotted Miyuki walking towards me. I can't explain, but from quite a distance I knew it was Miyuki. She had just been to submit her dissertation. I know she was worried about her work, but seemed happy to have finally finished. Next July she will be teaching 'Development' in Tanzania. Amazing !!! I really admire what she's doing, and how adventurous she is. Miyuki mentioned to me I looked tired, she's not the first person to say that to me. I realised my eyes squint when I'm speaking to people I like. It's actually a reaction from being scared to talk to people. I guess I just have to expose myself to more women. Men I can deal with and I don't care much for them anyhow (LOL) Miyuki mentioned she will go drinking with friends to celebrate the end of her master's course, then pack her bags for her trip back home to Japan. I awkwardly said goodbye and forgot to wish her a safe journey... Safe journey Miyuki !!!

I went home and fell asleep(the power of suggestion.)

Woke from my sleep to find Adam banging the hoover against my door. He had decided to clean ??? I don't think he realised I was in my room.

Thursday, August 27, 2009

Facebook Told Me !!!

Read about the execl () function and how to defeat Linux's 'Address Space Randomisation Layout.' Yawn !!!

Spent about 20 minutes staring at the UEA library computer, waiting for it to boot. Finally was able to print my curriculum vitae after the third attempt. Nice One UEA !!!

Went to a few job agancies handing them my CV. It's annoying handing over my CV and knowing that it will soon be filed straight into the bin.

Had to listen to housemate. He thinks he's a death metal guitarist. And does all the foot stamping and death metal singing along to errr... dunno Ramstein maybe??? What a tit !!!

Facebook leaks information... I really need to two people on FB to confirm this..

A tramp asked me for change at the Bus station. By the end of our conversation he was almost giving me change. To be honest I was walking past the Bus station when I saw him standing with two women. The women looked bothred and were telling him to go away. He just stood there saying, " what have I done??" I stopped to sit on the wall next to them, made sure they were okay.

Wednesday, August 26, 2009


Feel a bit better today after Monday's fiasco...

Received a new edition of Hackin9 through the post.
Sorted 'Student Finance' for next year.
Read about 'Smashed Stack Protection' and Canary tokens.
Received a MSG on Facebook from Miyuki (someone's still speaking to me) Thanks Miyuki.
Spoke to the strange 'nose plaster' guy in UEA library. He's still got the plaster on his nose Heh_ and has a Canadian accent.
Spent all my money on chocolate, noodles and biscuits.
Did clothes washing.

Sunday, August 23, 2009

Sunny Sunday

Woke late for Cathedral. It was beautiful sunny day and I was totally alone. Because I was late I had to do battle with the usher who keeps guard at the door. They seem to find it impossible that someone has come to attend the Sunday service during the sermon.

Drank coffee in the Forum. at near some geeks playing war games. One of the female war gamers had with her a baby, in which they had included into the game as a fairy character...

Watched some Japanese language programmes.

Someone used my butter !!! I spent some time carrying-out forensic examination on my tub of butter. Using the different kitchen knives I concluded that indeed Steve or someone err.. Adam used a knife not belonging to me to steal butter..

On Going Mission

Bumped into Steve in the city. We went to Starbucks for coffee and was later joined by Steve's friend Gary. After we spent some time watching the entertainment outside the Forum. Three grown men had drawn a crowd. They seemed to be playing with some circus toys. If they were solving hard maths, I could probably relate better. I said goodbye to Steve and his friend to go look for work.

Took the bus to the business park. The agency that was being run from a freight container has gone. I forgot, it's Saturday, and there was no-one around.

Walked back into the city back to the Forum. Just as I arrived at the Forum there was a loud explosion. I almost mad a dick of myself by drooping face-down to the floor(like you're supposed to.) Someone's bicycle tyre had exploded. How did that happen ??? It was very loud, anyhow...

Later Steve came 'round to watch 'Tron' and 'Star Trek 2.' Tron was so so good, as expected. Star Trek was well, just Star Trek... Adam and Steve sat drinking beer and eating crisps. I drank tea...

Thursday, August 20, 2009

Fix my Face

I can't update this. Things are too mental, as always.
Lots of reading about buffer overflow and pentesting.
Lots of fighting with people in the street. I should get hit by someone fairly soon, I think...

Felt remorseful for awhile about an old friend, if it means anything, I feel bad about what I did. I knew it was wrong, but it had to be done.

I should be happy with the way things are going, so far. But deep down I know everything is a lie. Everything in reality is fucked including my thoughts!!!

I actually do like you, I just don't trust you.

Went to the dentist in Cromer today to get my teeth fixed. Then, a walk along the seafront. I tried to make recording for AudioBoo, but it wont let you record when there's no mobile signal.

Oh, and I'm thinking about becoming a street drinker..

Monday, August 10, 2009

Don't Run, Walk!!

What an insane day/night/early morning... I hope I can remember everything..

I've been walking miles and miles almost every day and night.. My feet are killing me.

Some strange incidences that happened :

I was looking at the travel section in Borders when this random guy started talking to me about Berlin and Moscow. He said he's never been abroad and has no passport. He then went on to demonstrate his prowess in speaking the German language. This would have been fine, though he just went on and on... I complimented him on how much he knew, which he then explained that he had asperges. I guess it's become abit of an obsession for him. He showed me some guide book he'd sent away for through the post. He then started to speak to another guy who was learning French. Heh_ suddenly he started to attempt French.. At this point I left him to it.. He later left saying goodbye to everyone about two or three times.

I've really given-up big time, I spent most of my day trying to start fights with people. I decided to do my best at pissing people off, I hope this is a phase. I feel like I'm being bullied, no one ever has a good word for me, and I'm always letting people get their own way.

In fact I'm typing this the next day. I had a change of heart already. Last night I had the recurring dream of trying to get away from somebody I didn't want to speak to. It's made me realise, not that I ever really impose myself on people, quite the opposite I think.

yes, I have gone insane again, I need something to occupy my time until Uni starts. Been doing lots of network scanning, and trying to understand the different types of buffer overflow at a more deeper level.

I went to an art exhibition at Norwich Art school. The exhibition was about 'China'. I found myself in a room with a model train track. The model train had a camera transmitting the image to a television in the corner of the room. Around the track was old PCB and circuit boards placed to give the impression of buildings.

I've noticed Adam starting to follow me about. When I'm upstairs he is, when I go down to the kitchen, sat in the living room. He just sits about making noise. He isn't that bad, but I don't think he's aware of what he's doing.

At night, and after a few more confrontations with various people(and I still haven't managed to be beaten-up or stabbed) I watched as a 4x4 reversed over some traffic signs a barriers, then stopped to wait at the cross roads. I walked past looking to see who was driving, as I looked-up I suddenly noticed a large lorry had mounted the pavement and was moving directly towards me. wtf?? The was nothing I could do 'cept jump out of the way before he ran me over(I'm sure this couldn't have happened to anyone else.) Further down the road, an idiot asked me if I sucked cock. I replied yes, and he said, "well, come-on then." I told him to fuck-off and continued walking to the sound of his friends in a car shouting at me. Just then I noticed the flashing lights of fire engines and ambulance. I couldn't see what had happened, but there seemed to be something major happening.

I wasn't feeling to good now, and someone was walking behind me playing happy hardcore on their mobile phone. I turned and told them that the tune on their mobile was 'way too happy.' He was wearing a track suit and had cuts all over his face. He said, " I've just been to the hospital bruv!!" He then went on to explain about how someone glassed him with a bottle in front of his girlfriend and young daughter. He said he was homeless, he showed me the massive hole in his arm where the nurses put him on a drip. Now that he was out of hospital he had decided to go to 'Bootleggers' for some drink. He went further to explain that his dad had just died. I told him in an unpatronising way that drinking was probably the last thing he should be doing. He said he understood where I was coming from and continued on... We walked past the crowds outside club PoNana or whatever it's called. The utter scum were standing around pissing on everything. Oh yeah I might have told the homeless guy that I was going to kill all these people. At that point he went quiet.

After a few more confrontations with various arseholes, I walked home stopping to sit in hedges and touching computers from graveyards.


Sunday, August 09, 2009


Mum came for a visit today, we went to for a walk around campus. Then a look around the Sainsbuty centre.

The other day Adam and I answered the door to a racist salesman. he was trying to get us to swap our electricity provider to as he put it, the only English company left. His main sales approach consisted of an impersonation of an India call centre worker. After listening to his, oh so hilarious, impersonation I got up and went to my room, leaving Adam to tell him to fuck-off!!!

I have sold-out..because I've got little money I went to the Tesco metro to buy cheap crisps, biscuits and chocolate. All for one pound fifty pence UK. I'm a bad bad man...

Friday, August 07, 2009

Cut Loose

Being back near the city is good, at least, even though I have no money I can go off walking. My God !!! My feet are going to drop-off, so much walking and no work :/

I always return to the house and find Adam sat in his dressing gown watching DVDs, one DVD after another. Today I was tricked into watching the film 'Dark Crystal.'

We still haven't sorted a phone connection or broadband. Adam being a online gamer opts for the fastest connection money can buy (for the UK that is.)

I'm a quiet person. Adam is loud and always himself!!! If I go upstairs, so does Adam, if I goto the kitchen, he does too. Hmmm..

On the bus today I managed to catch a girls bag of food stuff from falling on the dirty bus floor. The driver jolted the bus sharply, and the girl's bag fell from the seat. My natural reaction was to grab the bag, two scones had already fallen out onto the floor. She looked at me and said thank-you in her Chinese mouse like voice. I then picked-up her bottle of water and placed it back on the seat, then watched as she retreived her scones from the floor and dusted them off. I looked at her and exclaimed, "Oh No!!," feeling sorry for her. I got no reaction, and wasn't sure if she blamed me for the scones falling out of the bag. I feel like that in most situations, like when someone drops money, no fucking way will I help pick-it-up for them. They might accuse me of trying to steal their money.

I have a queuing problem. I never like to stand too close to people in a queue. Because of this, people always push in front of me. It happened today. I was standing in line at the supermarket and only paying for one item, so it looked like I was just waiting for death, and not to pay for my one item of milk. An old woman stepped in front of me, she put all her shopping on the conveyor. I watched without saying a word. She then realised and began to apologise over and over. After I reassured her that I couldn't careless, she started to bitch to me about the woman ahead of us taking too long to pay.

Crack a Vap

My life seems to be like a cross between the programme 'Big Bang Theory, Rain Man and Peepshow.'

Everything is ruined, ain't ever going to fix this.

I was thinking about hacking my memory through the use of smell. Only use certain shower gels when I'm in a good mood, and ones for bad moods. Does that make sense ??? :/

I think if I did this I would easily forget the bad past.

Monday, August 03, 2009

early bird

I've moved into a smallish house very close to the University. I'm sharing with Adam at the moment and Chris has gone back home until term time begins. Of course, because basically Adam and Chris did all the work finding the house I get the smallest room. It's not that much of a bother really.

I woke early today to visit job agencies and try find work. Bertram Books who operate through the use of a recruitment agency couldn't help. The agency is no longer doing business and I was told to try in two weeks time when another agency will continue their operation.

On the bus into the city I noticed a boy shouting very angrily at a rather large man wearing a Norfolk Constabulary jumper. The large man stood close to the boys face and laughed at him. Later, while I was walking I noticed the boy sitting outside of the shop 'Next' and inquired as to the problem. He told me that he had been locked in the police station cells over night, and the large man had tormented him through-out the night flicking the light switch. The boy seemed to be slightly deaf and had quite alot of issues. I like to think I helped, just by listening to him.

Adam woke at 2:15pm, just as I was returning. So far, so good with Adam. Though I left him and Bode watching DVDs last night drinking larger and eating crisps. I went for a long walk that lasted well into the early morning.

I must admit I've been pretty down and have been having some bad thoughts.

Tuesday, July 28, 2009

Waiting and Waiting

Spent alot of time indoors, just watching Facebook and twitter for the latest news. Dared to go outside to Norwich yesterday. It rained all day up-until the point it was time to go home.

My parents garden still looks like it could well recover, though the flowers could, and should be looking better than they are.

Having fed the Koi fish in my dad's pond for a week, I'm starting to reconsider if it's okay to eat fish.

Yesterday I did some work in the UEA library. I sat near people I've recognised around campus but don't particularly know. One of them, I probably recognised because he insists on wearing a plaster on his nose. It's been two months and he still wears it wtf ? When I sat at the computer next to him he put headphones on and proceeded to mumble out loud to himself.

Quizzed a librarian about the self help service(rfid) terminals. I also wrote some notes on Globalrfid and its security.

Had to transfer buses half way home yesterday. The bus we were transferred onto was dirty, and it sounded like the wheels would fall off suddenly.

A date is set for LugRadioLive2009: 24:10:2009.

Another uninteresting thing is that I've become totally obsessed with the friends list in Facebook. I think I can see patterns in peoples profiles leaking information about who is visiting your profile or who is communicating with who..just crazy. If this theory is remotely true then it would be easier to spot patterns in the friend profile if the list wasn't so vast, like mine :D

Sunday, July 26, 2009

A Turd Torpedo

Man!! I'm just so fed-up with blokeish humour. With men, being a friend means randomly taking the piss out of each other. Not all people I have met are like this, and these seem to be the better genuine people.

Little comments, and trying to make others look stupid, torpedoing ideas, it's dumb. The next person to say to me 'We're just friends', or 'just kidding', goes instantly to fail.


Saturday, July 25, 2009

Flower Shower

Haven't left the house for a few days...

I'm involved with an epic battle to save my parent's garden. Of course, after just a few days of them leaving for Cornwall the flowers started to die. I keep watering them morning and night, now the threat level has increase to critical.

I need biscuits and cake but I don't want to leave the house :(

Still being lazy, sometimes moments of anger
(only when I dwell on the past that is...)


Tuesday, July 21, 2009

Polished Art

The calendar on my phone told me it was the correct day to do maths. Mark was my bus driver today and also my driver on the journey home. We chatted for awhile. I'm not saying being a bus driver is a bad job, but Mark is so, so clever, why can't he do something different. I guess it's the fact that he has a family to look after, or he just likes being a bus driver, maybe...

As usual wandered around Norwich enjoying the rain. Sat in the Forum library doing some maths. Decided to go to UEA library instead, the computers there weren't working properly. I couldn't login to see the online coursework from last year. Now I decided to go see the exhibition at the Sainsbury centre. There was an exhibition showing of work by contemporary Polish artists.

It turns out Robert's office was only a temporary situation. He was back into a new office complete with window (which is nice), he never mentioned the old office (being small and claustrophobic) wasn't his usual.

I took the picture above with my Iphone whilst waiting to see Robert. I quite like it, except for the 'W' Waterstones sign you can just barely notice. There was another shot without the people in.

Monday, July 20, 2009

Back to the Tutor

It's Monday, so I catch the bus into Norwich for maths tutorial, right ?? Nope; I got the wrong day, it's tomorrow my meeting with Robert.

While I was at UEA I asked about my hardship loan. They said I couldn't have it as I also owe money from accommodation. I have to pay this money or I wont get my student loan, or be able to carry-on into the next year.

Just walking around trying to kill time before it killed me. I saw a group of people with placards saying 'Graig Murray' and t-shirts with 'the awkward squad' written on them. I also saw Rupert Read a few times cycling around on that rather splendid bike he uses, heh_ :D

Friday, July 17, 2009

Sob Freedom

Things needed sorting out. Despite waking at 5am, I still managed to fall back to sleep and miss the 7am bus.

Went to County Hall to show supporting documentation for my student finance application. Turns out the system used for student finance applications is rubbish. No surprise there then!! The lady who met me explained that because I was transferring to another course she had to flag my application as pending. There was no other relevant option given to her on their system. Because of this a automatic email was sent to me asking for the supporting documentation.

Whist I waited for the bus back to the city centre thunder and lightning had started, it began to rain heavily. People were sat out of the rain under the metal bus shelters. I was probably wrong but I wasn't sure how safe those things are in a lighting storm. I sat crouched down under my brolly playing Philip Glass Cloudscape from my Iphone Hahahah!!

Robert had cancelled my maths tutorial, I hadn't seen the email informing me of this. No big deal, I wanted to apply for a hardship loan anyhow. I filled the relevant forms and made another appointment to see Robert on Monday.

Floated around Norwich for a few hours. Sat, drank coffee, read maths equations. I saw David Cameron leader of the Conservatives in the forum. I wasn't sure it was really him. Just some guy that was wearing the whitest shirt I've ever seen. The news later confirmed he had been in Norwich.

I saw Yuko in the Library, she didn't see me. I watched her walking away again. Always painful... There would have been little point speaking to her, she doesn't want to know me. And the last time I saw her was hand in hand with Alex Pearce walking down the street. There, I said his name. Everytime I think of him I get very angry..quick change subject_

Attended the NO2ID card hustings. Recorded a Little of what Rupert Read had to say and published it to AudioBoo. Craig Murray always has something interesting to say, I was quite impressed. UKIP sounding off like BNP. Why is it always me that gets the odd annoying bloke sat next to me ?? :( (maybe because I am an odd annoying bloke LOL)

Tuesday, July 14, 2009

Summer Gloves

Living back at home, though only for a short while is still pretty harsh. It's so good of my parents to put-up with a loser like me, but still. It comes with all the old trappings and embarrassments. The other day my mother being nice asked if I wanted some of my clothes washed. She picked-up a hooded top from the floor of my room. Out fell two black leather gloves. She just said, "Oh!!" Didn't even question why the fuck I was wearing leather gloves in summer. Hahahah!! And for that matter a hooded top..

Went to Runton, there was no surf.. Pooo!! Been doing trigonometric calculus.

Monday, July 06, 2009

Two Closed Eyes

I forgot my bus pass, and had to walk from the city centre into campus. Just as soon as I left the Forum, it began to lightly rain. The rain became heavier and heavier. By the time I had reached the university I was completely soaked. It was actually quite nice. I knew due to 'sod's law' the rain would stop almost as soon as I arrived. I Sat in the square drying off in the sun, which had now been converted into a make shift playground for the Italians to play ball in.

Went for haircut, I never know how those people remember my name. I sometimes hate the fact that you have to speak to the barber. The guy cutting my hair was cool(why am I using the word cool :) I'm not 12 years old Heh.) I always get the impression he's known me before.

Another good maths session. While I was waiting for the office to open, I thought I saw Yuko.

The maths session we went slightly off topic. I brought-up the subject of cryptography. Robot seemed to know alot about 'public key encryption.'

A strange incident happened back at the Forum that I find interesting. The guy being served ahead of me complained that he was given tea instead of the latte that he had ordered. The problem was that he was a foreign national, he pronounced latte with an emphasis on 'T.' The guy and his friends were sat with me on the sofas. I couldn't make-out where they were from. They seemed to be speaking French but not always. All four were black, but not with typical black facial features. Well anyway, I asked them about the great tea incident and was laughing about the situation. I got the impression they thought the people behind the counter had got it wrong on purpose.

The thing is, everyone serving at the bar aren't originally from England. So we have all immigrants serving and foreign nation customers, all speaking a second language, English. I'm not sure why, but I found this interesting.

I went for a walk down chav street. A little fat woman err... girl tried to start a fight with me, calling me an array of expletives.

I jumped over a fence in front of a crowd of idiots. I heard the drunk idiots saying to each other, "look free runner!" hahaha ! NO !!! That's just how I jump over fences, I've done that since I was young.. Nothing new !! It never had a name, its called agility.. TWATS !!

I'm getting pissed off with Japanese culture becoming popular into the mainstream..

Sunday, July 05, 2009

Missing Rice

For some unknown reason I've suddenly become interested in Shiatsu massage...

Saturday, July 04, 2009

The In Crowd

I got nothing, stayed in my room all day. Mum drove to Norwich, I had a bad feeling that she was involved in an accident. Luckily I was wrong.

Watched Bear Grylls- Born Surviver. Well-Done me...

Friday, July 03, 2009

Maths Porn

Sat in the Forum doing maths. Is it wrong to do maths in public ?? The general public don't take too kindly to others that display such activities as reading books or anything that doesn't involve shopping or alcohol. Well, frankly I couldn't care. What I do care about is that every problem in the book just looked impossible. I had to concede defeat.

Open day on campus. Lots of kids and their parents. There was a two person band playing in the square, I didn't really take much notice. Instead I went to buy strawberry soya shake from the shop. There's a guy/PHD student who works the behind the counter serving. We don't know each other, but for some reason we seem to have an understanding that we're friends/friendly. He seems alittle effeminate which is okay, I find most Indian student usually are. The shop was so busy and the weather hot. Though we really have no connection other than UEA and the shop he welcomed me with a big smile and we exchanged pleasantries about how we hate open days :D Heh This sounds harsh, but I really hope he isn't gay, if he is then also no problem.

Thank the Lord, I was working from a newer maths book to Roberts. The questions I had been looking at were far harder than the ones he intended me to attempt.

Thursday, July 02, 2009

Shun the Sun

After calling the job agency and getting the voice mail outgoing message, I decided to pay a visit to their office in person.

Outside was a hot beautiful day. Summer 2009 is dead to me, it's just not going to happen. I used to live for the beach and sun,what changed ?? Now I just want to hide, in preference to staying in.

Well, going to the office was a complete waste of time. The person who arranged interviews wasn't there. I'm going to try tomorrow.

Listened to music and watched some clips from this you tube user:

Wednesday, July 01, 2009

Selection for my Resurrection

Spent most of the day trying to coax myself out of the house. It didn't happen.

The was a message on the answer phone from a recruitment aganecy. I'll call them or visit, maybe they have a rubbish job for me. Hmmm, is it too late to get to Har2009, probably.

The Cake to Stay Awake

Hey, thanks guys... Really encouraging to receive your comments and emails, thanks.

I received a message from Miyuki today. She is back in Japan, but returning sometime in July.

I accidentally noticed myself smiling (no I hadn't overdosed on carrot cake) but for every good thing something bad happens. Reality reared its ugly head, and in an instant I was back to my usual miserable self. Still, there's still hope.

Monday, June 29, 2009

The Votes are In

Successful completion of Academic Year

The Board of Examiners recently met to consider your performance during the past
academic year and I am pleased to confirm that you have met the progression criteria
to enable you to progress to the next stage of your degree course. You can review a
full set of your results online by accessing the Student Portal, selecting the
Academic tab and then selecting Student View where you will find a container called
“Assessment Details”. Within this container is a link called “Online Marks
Statement” which you should click on.

Don't know how that happened !!! I'm pleased anyway..

Today involved sitting next to three beautiful Chinese girls on the bus into Norwich. Extra maths, with my friend Dr Robert. (being my friend just means that you've spoken to me, and generally acknowledged my existence.) Also today I was aproached by the police. I was sitting on the pavement browsing the internet on my Iphone. They pretended that they were checking if I was okay. That would have been believable except he said he thought he had seen a can of drink. I said that I didn't drink and stood to face him. He then said it was fine for me to sit, that's fine !!! Oh, well thank-you. Now fuck-off...

Saturday, June 27, 2009

Mr. and Mrs. Moth

Another crap day, listening to music. Glad to see everyone's forgotten about Iran in preference to Michael Jackson. Doing some maths for this coming Monday, when I will go see Robert, at UEA.

Fuck !! I have to go outside, maybe tomorrow. I could goto the beach, which I keep saying I'm going to do.

Heard about a songwriter from Tokyo, 'Natccu', (pronounced Na-chew) whilst looking at Link: Learn Japanese Pod I haven't been able to confirm, but I think she has, or is, touring the UK at the moment. I would like to see...

Friday, June 26, 2009

Love Bus

Went to norwich, did maths... Thought about shit, random chaos. Yeah, it took me some time but i think I get it. Without random thoughts there are no new ideas. Just the same shite constrained within its set boundaries. Logical processes, modeled within a systems can't without chaos explore new avenues and concepts. Just correlate patterns within the algorithm + test data. It's not new ways of doing things. Just making broken ideas more streamline. that's not good..

imagine getting on a bus filled with everyone you have known. You travel for awhile nobody is speaking, then you get off and the bus drives away. I don't mean to complain (I do actually) but that's a representation of my life so far. I'm supposed to make stuff happen, but I can't see stuff happening anytime soon. I'm looking around and every single other person has someone to talk to.. wtf ?? (selfish I know)

Thursday, June 25, 2009

Another level

caught the bus to Norwich. I noticed a new information terminal at the bus stop. I spent some time examining the interface and design. I noticed a tiny mobile phone like camera fitted above the screen acting as a CCTV camera. Half-way through my bus journey I remembered the can of coke I left on the wall. Nobody reminded me if they noticed, and I remember getting on the bus thinking I had left something but wasn't sure what.

Went to UEA library to do some maths. UEA campus seems very busy, lots of Italians.

At 17:50 I went to the community hospital for my appointment with dermatologist. I had a different Dr. this time. A very friendly woman. I took my top off and she for no apparent reason stroked my chest with the tip of her finger (it was quite nice actually :) LOL~ I gave her a sob story about not having any money. Saying, "I was a student once," she went to get me some extra cream and special shampoo for free... YAY !!

Tuesday, June 23, 2009

Fun in the Sun

Sat indoors. Did some maths, Awesome !!! Watched the clips in from Iran protest. Saw the woman who was shot and died. Most of the clips made me both angry and on the edge of tears.

It looked like a pretty nice day outside, but I wasn't fooled by that. I linked the clip of the woman dying to my Facebook account. Somehow it seemed wrong amongst the status updates of my supposed friends. Reports of how much fun they're having, then, a woman with blood pouring out of her face. I had to remove it..

I can't believe that motherfucking helicopter is flying over the house about 10 times, it 23:41 pm wtf ??? I have helicopter rage !!!!! GAH !!!

Monday, June 22, 2009

Sweep Dreams from your Hair

Woken to the sound of dad sweeping the outside paving slabs. I'm fairly definite when I say it's one of his tactics to make me wake-up and do something with my life. All through-out his life he's been a hard working engineer, telling him some bullshit like I'm a writer just won't cut it. I can honestly say it has no effect what so ever, he would just laugh at me.

Travelled into Norwich to see Robot for maths. Maths wasn't until 14:00pm so I went to Norwich Art Centre to see if there was anything interesting. OMFG utter shite!!! sOmeone I've never heard of has a photo exhibition, depicting scenes from a book or film that he never bothered to finish. The photography was utter bollocks. At first I thought it must have been pictures from a children's competition. And the models in the photos, completely unconvincing. One was of a child dressed in a suit, sitting in a green leather chair. The picture was given a supposedly warm tinge of ginger. Red and green should never be seen, and fucking ginger green should be shot.. I wanted to violently ill. The person responsible for these pictures should probably just give-up and get a proper job. I'm not sure what use they could realistically be to anyone...

Went to UEA to see Robert, I was given one to one maths tuition for an hour, it rocked !! Sometimes Robert likes to give lots of background history. Some of the stuff he talks about seems like pure alchemy and blows my mind, fantastic..

Friday, June 19, 2009

The Power of a Good Shower

OMG it's so good to have access to a power shower again !! No exaggeration, I could spend hours feeling clean while the water pounds my neck and down the spine. No joke, I believe a good power shower in a small way helps..

caught a lift into Norwich with mum. Mum is an excellent driver, but recently I've noticed some careless habits. She attempted to overtake a lorry on a hill and when it was obvious that we were in danger, continued to overtake. After we barely made it past safely, and the lorry driver honked his horn repeatedly, she said, "Oh, I should really be wearing my glasses !!" FFS

After tea and coffee, thanks to mum. we kissed goodbye and I left to return some books to the library.

I paid a visit to the UEA to find-out how much money I owe them. I've thought of a new job finding tactic. As you might expect, it's not revolutionary just abit creepy. I will buy a UEA t-shirt to go job hunting in, maybe then I will look less like a loser. Hahaha !! (more of a loser maybe :)

Took a brief look around the UEA library. I never found the book I was looking for!!! The problem is that I kept being distracted by so many other journals. Stopping to flick through everything that caught my eye, I could have got lost in there.

I never realised the maths dude still worked through the holiday. I made an appointment to see him Monday.

Caught the bus to the Broadland Business estate. Enquired about a few jobs and was directed to a temporary make-shift office. The office was a agency situated inside a transport container. I assume the container arrived on these shores fully equipped, office workers included. (Heh_ a bit racist :) I don't mean it, I just hate people~ XD

Near to the Broadland Business Park is the Norvic Clinic. This is where you end-up if you're mentally disturbed and fallen foul of the law. There are some old disused building there. I spent some time taking photos and exploring.

(Just recently I have been re-visiting my past, for me, it's very important that I remember.)

Through the use of twitter I found out about the live stream of the 'OpenVideo Conference.' I stupidly thought I would message Steve about it. Steve isn't interested in anything that won't get him marks towards his little degree. I haven't met any proper computer people...yet ???


Wednesday, June 17, 2009

Competition is Good

Spent the whole day in my room listening to Spotify and searching old friends on Facebook. In a strange kind of way it's been quite therapeutic seeing the pictures of old friends and girlfriends from my past. It's especially good when you see that they are now fat and married and/or now have kids. Mehehe !!!

Tuesday, June 16, 2009

Bizzaro World

Today I finally took a little foray into the 'Chava-sphere' of Holt. Did nothing, but at the very lleast I caught some time away from my computer.

Just for fun I created a fictitious person on Facebook. I can't believe I got a friend request. So funny !!! Thing is their page is written in Fasi.

Discovered a load of learning material including language programmes on you tube. The Open university channel...

I read issue #66 of Phrack Magazine. Somehow I got sidetracked from reading 'Shellcoder's Programming Uncovered.'

Sunday, June 14, 2009

Take a Pill

According to the book 'Shellcoder's Programming Uncovered.' Hackers, to be on the safe side, isolate themselves from the outer world, reduce social contact to the minimum, and hide in a lonely den enjoying hacking. Not because they are fat and boring and everyone hates them, but to avoid detection. Heh_#

Spent all day in a dark room. Took loads of headache pills to kill the pain. I never use to use any pills or medicine, now I'm not so bothered.

Read this:

Tuesday looks okay for surf ??? Not great :(

Mobile signal is as always absolute bollocks here !!!

Saturday, June 13, 2009


Mum came to help me move-out at 6 a.m. After making two trips home I just about met the deadline of 10 a.m. I noticed a guy from my course who's well known for being slack (more slack than me.) He had locked himself out of the building, this was at the point we should have been packed and out. Hilarious !!!

I'm back in the countryside. Land of fuck-off big farming vehicles and soft tissue paper. It's so quiet here. First thing I did on returning home was to set-up my pc. Close the door, close the curtains, and listen to some music. Still hacked-off.. Feeling like someones stolen something (moan moan.)

Now I'm back near the sea (but with no car) I hope to get some surfing done, then, let the healing begin (sink or swim ??)

Send me emails if you like. I feel like death.

Made use of my dads On Demand tv. Watched a documentary called 'Death Machines.' The most horrendous of which had to be the 'Brazen Bull.' A bronze bull sculpture that people were locked in while it's heated over a fire pit. As the super heated air slowly suffocated them from the inside, there's a trumpet attached to the bull's mouth. The victims only option was to breath fresh air through the trumpet creating a low melodic scream.

Thursday, June 11, 2009

Chance no More

Applied for student finance. Met Chris, we went for a walk, then Ben and Jerry's Ice cream. We looked like a couple of gays. (And if your offended by that, you have to ask yourself, why???)

I feel beaten-up... Which incidentally __________________ .

Been listening to a lot of Faith no More.

Wednesday, June 10, 2009

A New Era

Like Dr Sam Becket in 'Quantum Leap' I'm expecting to begin a new chapter in my life. I've virtually said goodbye to all the people I've failed to be friends with and it's time to move on. A day of pushing the buttons (which I should remember to do.) Just keep going !!! As a wise Budo instructor repeatedly said...

I made a visit to 'Chopsticks' to go see Fen. Her Niece was at the counter. I always had the feeling they didn't know who I was. They work so hard and serve so many people through-out the week. But the lady behind the counter knew what my usual was, "vegetable noodle please !!!" Fen came down from upstairs and sat with me. Her niece translated. Fen's niece said that because she's always working she never has time to practice English conversation with anybody. They have been in England for four years now. We briefly discussed the possibility of teaching each other our respective languages.

I left, attempting a thank-you in Chinese, which I think is Xie-Xie...not sure. I was slightly embarrassed at my lack of knowledge about China. Everyone should read as much as they can.

I left with a big smile on my face !! Though something was on my mind, I had to basically say goodbye to someone today. I'm blocking it from my mind because I know it will trouble my thoughts greatly..

Messed about with airplay-ng...

Sometime ago now I was standing in a Berlin Record store and reminded of the band 'Faith No More.'

Yuko came to see me. She returned my DVDs and paid me the pleasure of her company for awhile. As she left I knew I would probably never see her again.

Tuesday, June 09, 2009

The Nerve of the Curve

I received an email from Fen the lady from Beijing. What a surprise !! She is staying with her niece who runs 'Chopsticks' the noodle bar I always visit.

Last night Hugo the guy in the room next to mine knocked on my door. It was about 2am, I was expecting him to complain about the music I was playing or something. I opened my door to see Hugo standing there with his suitcase. He handed me his room key and said that he was leaving. I wished him a good journey and we shook hands. He seemed nervous. I was thinking maybe he was doing a runner and not paying the rest of his rent LOL. I doubt that's the case. Later, after trying to sleep, I thought I would check-out his room. There were three large plastic bags full of stuff. Being a Pikey I rummaged through the bags and found myself some Starbucks' mugs (don't like Starbucks, but I'll give them to my parents) A bag of nut chocolate sweets. Some tins of French Pate.(don't eat meat) I left the flip-flops Hahah !!! (but I had to think about that one ;) Some paper clips and board pins. There was also a book on chemistry, but I left that too.

Had another bad lonely day today, I sometimes think I can feel her arms around my shoulders, best to try forget. I always said I wouldn't ever let anyone get to me again... Reading her last email to me, there's no sign of any intention never to see me again. She ends with " see you soon :) " IT MAKES NO SENSE !!! Maybe I scared her. Went for a walk around the BBC curve theatre. Took some photos just incase I forgot some of the worst days of my life, still to get worse...

Monday, June 08, 2009

Turn, Turn and Turn

I already wrote an entry for today, but it was very sad !!! I want to write something entertaining, up-lifting and dare I say happy.

No chance, another bad day..
I shut myself in my room, for the sake of public safety ...

Went to the post room. I was expecting a letter with ten quid in it. It's lost or stolen. You decide ..

The BNP won two seats, what the fuck is wrong with this country. PAH !!!

Sunday, June 07, 2009

In from the Cold

I'm feeling slightly happy this morning. At the cathedral I spoke to a woman from Beijing. Through the service, I tried to keep the 'service sheet' in view for her to see what was going on. There was quite a large language barrier. With the help of her translator machine, I found-out she was a tourist, and had travelled to Edinburgh, Cambridge, and London. She has seen more of the United Kingdom than I have !!! Heh_

I wrote my email address and the URL of this blog on a notepad for her. Now I'm scared of the possibility that she might read and understand this blog. She will know then just how weird and slightly mental I am.

It's raining, and I couldn't think of anything good to do. If I had money, I would have liked to have taken her for tea. curses !!! Instead I shook hands with her and said goodbye :( I'm rubbish at communicating.

It was so nice to meet her.

I've just realised some interesting connections between people on Facebook. With this, and feeling that stuff in my room has been moved, or, sometimes things are switched on or off when I return. I'm not sure, I might be paranoid but I can't say I'm bothered much...

Secretly, I know I'm right !!!

OMG, I've looked further. There's a whole freaking network of people here !!! I'm going to have to map this-out on paper .

Saturday, June 06, 2009

Picture This

I got nothing... Felt quite down today. Through mind control I managed to stay grounded. Went to supermarket, then at the very last moment I changed my mind. Tried to find an alternative place to buy vegetables. The market had started to close, so I was forced to shop at Sainsburys. I bought one onion, a pot of cream, biscuits, and a tin of chopped tomatoes. I really wish today hadn't happened; in a funny kind of way, it didn't. Read some stuff on scanning login.php interfaces using 'burp suite'. I'm not a script kiddie, honest !!!

Thanks to twitter I found some pictures someone took on a recent visit to the 'UEA Server Room'. It's nice to know they think so much about security.

Friday, June 05, 2009

Mexican Wave

Went for a walk about. Saw the free-runner people again... They're getting pretty good. One particular guy I keep noticing ever since I last saw him run-up quite a high wall. They really love themselves !!! And they probably should. They took turns to launch themselves off a park bench and perform a forward somersault. I would have Ustreamed them or asked for an interview. It would have been good work...

Walking through campus Steve called. Steve and his mate were sitting in the Union bar. Steve bought me a pint, I couldn't return the favour as I didn't bring money. Still, I didn't feel too bad, as I made that meal for him. Steve's mate Andrew is actually quite cool, surprisingly !!! Some other people came-over to speak, but I just stood laughing in the right places in the conversation, looking like a prick with my EeePc under my arm. After a couple of hours I left to go sit in my room.

The Beard Strikes Back

Made a visit to the community Hospital today to go see the dermatologist. After some confusion over my present address, I was given a seat and told to wait. Two old men in the waiting room were discussing how they had just been made unemployed after many years of service.

The doctor was Italian, which is okay, 'cept every so often I had to embarrassingly ask him to please repeat himself, as I hadn't understood what he was saying. He got me to take my top off and lay on the bench. I had briefly mentioned a rash that I use to have near my groin, he was now asking me to show him. I blurted-out that it wasn't really there anymore. I'm sure I saw a little smirk on his face, as I tried to talk my way out of showing him. He stood over me, and I started to undo the lovely bow tied knot on my shorts. It felt like what I imagine the plot to a gay porno would be like. Undoing the bow on my shorts like opening a gift wrapped present. He took a brief look and said everything was fine. Then examined my back and armpits. If only I hadn't tied that bow knot on the front of my shorts !!!

I walked into the city to drink coffee. Two middle aged women sat with me. I think they felt sorry for me, as I looked very lonely listening to my Ipod on the couch. I couldn't hear their conversation as I had my headphones in. But there was some strange body language, and they looked to be trying to catch my attention. I made sure I didn't make eye contact. It sounds racist but I'm just not interested in English people anylonger. Can't even pretend to care... Saying that, I'm sure it wont be long before I just feel nothing for anyone.

Back at campus I went to the polling station to vote. The woman in the polling station was sat by herself, nobody else about. I made my vote then enquired how many others had been to vote ?? Apparently only about 84 others, quite low turn-out.

Thursday, June 04, 2009


I'm starting to wonder about this blog again :/ It's actually slightly embarassing that I haven't done anything interesting the past couple of years now. My English hasn't improved either. I would outline what my weekend was like for you but it was shit. Except seeing that person pass-out on a bungee rope at university, fucking hillarious. Everyone thought he was dead or something, I resisted the urge to get my camera out and live stream the event while they placed him in the recovery position. Been doing alot of running, I've started to look slightly mental again because I've got nothing to do, 'cept read AND SURF THE NET.

I did some tests with Ustream on my Iphone. Yes, it was shit... (I'm making extra special effort to try swear as much as I can. WHY ??? MIND YOUR OWN FUCKING BUSINESS.)

Ian Gibson MP got deselected from the taking part in the elections tomorrow.

Going home soon. One moment, let me reflect on my time in accommodation at UEA.. Disaster~ still it's a wonder I haven't stabbed anyone. I'm sure a few people thought I might.

He's some youtube stuff I found that my lecturer did research in:

I thank~You, BE SEEING YOU !!!

Saturday, May 30, 2009

Waiting in the Sun

Lunch time I cooked some amazing pasta with obligatory standard pasta source. There must have been the remnants of chili in the sauce pan as it was slightly hot. I'm such a good cook, and nobody knows it !!!!

Sat in the sun on a bench, out in the street for about an hour. A guy who lived in the building opposite came out to smoke. After doing some improv' dance, then smoking a joint of grass, he asked if he could sit with me. At first I thought he was probably gay, as I always have a habit of being chatted-up by blokes, never women :/ He asked how I was ? I muttered in reply okay, sort-of. I asked him if his name was Johnathon, as every time I looked at my IPhone I was getting a wifi link named 'Johnathon'. He said that, that was his flatmates name. Somehow we started to talk about Buddhism, he seemed to know a lot about meditation. His girlfriend arrived, and after greeting her she walked into his building. Dom, who had now taken his large sunglasses off to reveale some heavily stoned eyelids, he asked me to wait awhile. He ran into his building and returned with a book. He said I could keep it. Though he probably only bought it for 30p at a jumble sale, I was really pleased. I thanked him and shook his hand. he then left to go see his girlfriend. Dom said he had been to university to do Philosophy. Why is it everyone I meet is a Philosopher, or teacher ??? Heh_

I was feeling fairly positive after my little encounter with Dom. Earlier a bad thing happened :/ I think you could guess what.. And I have no regret.

Found a picture of Bill Talen outside Norwich Starbucks... Downloaded the best of Queen to my Iphone.

Thursday, May 28, 2009

The days are passing very quickly. Seems like I get-up in the morning, and then it's dark again.

Today I compiled some notes on using GPU(graphic Processor Unit) for passphrase brute forcing using 'CUDA'. CUDA is a 'c' programming development platform from Nvidia. It's good, because CUDA has been used to create software for brute forcing passphrases on the WPA/WPA2 protocol. The Opensource package used from Backtrack is Pyrit. There is commercial software from Elcommsoft. The Elcommsoft package enables the workload to be distributed among 1000 workstations, also using encryption to report back the results.

Watched some primers on Assembly language.

I listened to a lot of 'The Doors' today on you tube. I know youtube links are lame, but anyway :

Wednesday, May 27, 2009

Ghost train

Been bad. Crossing the road at a pedestrian crossing. As we all crossed the road between a trafic cue of cars, a woman in her Corsa slowly edged forward hitting my leg lightly.

It doesn't matter how lightly she hit me, it could only happen to me. She shouldn't be moving at all. What gives her the right to drive into people ? No matter how lightly. I continued walking but as always, inside I was screaming to tear her out of the driving seat, and god knows what. Bastards !!!

Nothing today, walked around sniffing the air and knocking on peoples doors. If that makes any sense to you ???

Read about MD5 hash algorithm signatures on precompiled executables. And how it's a good idea to compile your executables from source when tricking antivirus software. Yawn !!!

Tuesday, May 26, 2009

Rodney Trotter

I received a call from Steve. We arranged to go running. While I was waiting for him to arrive I took some pictures around campus. We ran around the lake and Earlham Park. Steve, though a sports' coach hasn't been doing much running recently and he's trying to get back in shape. It was a slow start, we made some distance though I have to say it was like a light walk for me... :D brag !!! brag !! Heh...

No not being big headed, it was still good. He showed me some stretching at the end also. But, of course I'm super stretchy too. Hahah!!!

After, I made egg fried rice and salmon for us. It was pretty good !!! And easy to cook ;D Steve left to go coach javelin, to some kids at the Sportspark.

Monday, May 25, 2009

Double Nice ~ Think Twice

There is only one notable thing to say today... I walked Prince of Whales Road to the train station. There is now a noticeable difference in the smell on that street. It literally looks, and now smells, of shit.

Sunday, May 24, 2009

Turn of the Head

In the coffee shop today, I noticed the guy doing the PHD on lip reading waiting for someone. I kept a close eye on who he was meeting. He greeted two other computer types and proceeded to walk my direction. I was hoping they would sit close so I could try to make contact with them. Just then a old man sat on the sofa next to me wearing a 'Tour of Norwich' t-shirt. I wanted to ask him and his t-shirt to kindly fuck-off, but instead I just watched as they moved to the seats outside. He sat at a distance opposite me. I'm sure he noticed me, and he's probably now a little scared of this weirdo mentalist staring.

It's been a bad day if I'm honest. Nearly had a few fights. Called a bloke who was about to walk in front of me, a dipstick. He grab the earpiece out of my ear, I knocked his arm away, and shoved him back. Then I began to taunt him about his shoes, and how old he looked(he wasn't old). I know it's wrong but I need to vent some anger, I feel so ugly, and now I'm acting ugly. Writing all this stuff down makes it all seem so harsh, and it probably is.

I noticed Yuko waiting for a bus, she suddenly realised it was me. She had the look on her face like a rabbit caught in headlights. I turned my head and continued walking. It really hurt, and I was pretty cut-up inside, if it's such a problem to speak to me, then so be it. I don't want to make people like me.

It's actually a major factor in why I'm acting so bad, recently. The last year I've made a massive effort to try be gentle, and forgive people. If nobody likes me and I get ignored I'm less likely to care.

Though I was down anyway, I suddenly became more dark. Luckily I had just uploaded BB King tracks to my Iphone. The song Philadelphia somehow magically brought me back to my senses
So yep, m000 lets himself down again.

Am I going to have to listen to BB King constantly, that's not practical :/ or just start bullying random twats in the street, that's just mental.

Saturday, May 23, 2009

Butterfly~ I'm Home Soon...

Haven't checked my tenancy agreement yet, but I think I will move or go back home soon. I would rather not go back home. Somethings got to give soon and quickly.

Walked about Norwich see if anything was happening with the sustainable event. Nothing, I guess I got-up too late. Waiting for the bus I bumped into Steve and Adam again. Adam creeped-up on me and was pretending to attack. I moved into a defensive stance and when I realised it was just Adam being a knob, I felt silly. It wasn't like full blown Karate stance but just natural defensive. Still, I think the only way he will stop is if I actually kick him in the nuts or something.

At Steves we watched Zardoz. It was very 70s, with bad acting and sound. It was quite good actually.

My Mad Existence~ Don't Keep Your Distance

Community University Engagement (CUE) East was set up a year ago. Norwich and Norfolk Sustainable Living Festival outlines practical living in a sustainable way. Thanks to a public engagement project run by the University of East Anglia.

A brief walk around I saw:

  • The Butterfly Effect map – Climate Change and the Norfolk Broads.

  • A guy trying to get people to compost their waste.

  • One of the people on the Fair Trade stall offered me fair trade chocolate, then proceeded to gather all the Indian people he could find for a group photo. (a bit odd)

    My mobile rang, it was Steve. He said I had just walked past him in the street, and we ahould meet-up. Steve and Adam had been drinking, and seemed to be on a early bar crawl. I joined them. We went from pub to pub slowly becoming drunk. Steve somehow managed to blag samples of real ale from each bar we visited. Pretending to be interested in the taste.

    Finally we went to Wensum Lodge to listen to a free folk music event which consisted of a IRA terrorist. And a bloke that I see in Marzanoes. (He was playing a right handed guitar left handed.) And a young girl who turned-out to be aged 35 ~ hmm, interesting, she attempted to play music in a loop. I've listened to alot of Philip Glass recently I became interested. I'm obviously no expert but I think there was potential for some good songs there. But I have to say when she just sang and played without the FX it was pretty good. What the fuck do I know :/

    Well, almost a life worth living today..Good.

    Tuesday, May 19, 2009


    Tonights LCR at the University is themed as 'Chavs'. Everyone is dressed as a Chav. I must say it's difficult to tell people that are dressed-up, from the real McCoy.

    I'm turning into a tramp. People ask me for money on the street. Where as I use to give people money who asked (stupid) Now I probably have less money than them !! I'm the biggest loser. I went to Prince of Whales Road (Chav says: "What are you looking at !! I laugh at him~) to eat greasy pizza, then bought a single can of Guiness. Say no more... But I have been doing lots of chin-ups and press-ups. I'm slowely regaining my muscle and becoming trim.

    (sorry for the bad English ;)

    Saturday, May 16, 2009

    I'm Sleep, They say they have no time for me.

    Thought I would chance by the Theatre Royal, see if I could get a cheap ticket to go see Philip Glass. No such luck, I was told there were only 35 UK pound tickets left. I'm not paying that, I'm a skinflint !!! Instead, I just so happened to have DLed Koyaanisqatsi to my Iphone. I sat drinking coffee watching the people pass in the rain to the repetitive tones in my head.

    I've also DLed the kanji and kana apps for iphone. I'm finding them great.. In fact it's quite worrying how I can plug my Iphone in and listen to music browse the Internet. No need to even look at anyone let alone speak. In the evening I watched the whole first series to Nathan Barley. Watch it, it's the shit !!!!

    Emmanuel Goldstein mentioned on his radio show about kicking a old woman in the shins. Sorry, but I couldn't stop laughing. It's so wrong. I myself was bad the other day, I accidentally lost it at rush hour from the train station. I hit a business man just as he was about to walk into me. It was a rather hard strike with my thumb firmly pressed into his gut. Four other people previous to him had pushed into me, and I just lost it, I'm such a TWAT. There's someone I really want to slap, and I guess the business guy bore the brunt of my bitterness. I have started to meditate again daily on loving kindness, because I have definetly forgotten what it means. KEEP IT FOOLISH !!! YEAH !!!

    This footage really mooved me today.

    Wednesday, May 13, 2009

    Saved a ten for Black, Red and Blue...

    Woke-up, unfortunately. Went to the Forum. the people from the Norwich Buddhist Centre seemed to be putting-on a display. It seemed to involve siting on a mat with your eyes closed, looking like you're doing a big shit.

    Sat on a bench looking at this street:

    Stood at the bus-stop. It's not an important detail. Here's another picture in case you don't know what a bus-stop looks like. Usually there would be more Chavs but it's not the right time of day.

    Returned to my room, back in bed asleep by 14:00.

    I discovered lots of good stuff on itunes involving Stephen K Hayes and calculus lectures.

    Tuesday, May 12, 2009

    Master of Disaster

    Tried to do last minute revision for maths exam. Arranged to meet Chris at the bus-stop at 1:10. I can't believe what I saw, some Chinese girl got on the bus wearing a very short skirt and her stocking and suspenders showing. I like to think she was making a statement. I just stared in disbelief. She must have thought I was perving, I was just trying to understand what she was thinking.

    At 2:00 we all met outside c'hall' to start the mathematics exam. It was a complete disaster. I just hope I can reassess.

    After, Chris, Powie and I went for noodles at chopsticks. Chris didn't eat all of his rice. He carried his box of rice home with him to eat later, making him resemble a food delivery boy.

    Powie and I said goodbye to Chris and went to drink coffee in the forum. We talked about social development and IT infrastructure of Papua New Guinea. His father is a main player in P.N.G, he spoke of the corrupt Australian officials who try to bribe the competition out of major business contracts, in order to force P.N.G into dealing with Australian businesses only. I gave Powie a quick run through on basic UNIX shell commands.

    Monday, May 11, 2009

    Laugh in your face

    Got haircut,

    Took introductory computing exam.

    She's been back in the country less than 10 hours. Already I've been thrown into a fit of depression. I should be revising for maths exam tomorrow, my focus has been disturbed. I think he's laughing at me. Why do I give a fuck, she hates me, he's laughing at me. I should ignore them and get on with it.

    I feel like I'm going insane. I could tell a situation was going to happening today, just by observing the people around me, passers by. They were acting different(maybe the white shirt ?). That's mad !!! But it's the truth... I FUCKING NEW IT BEFORE IT HAPPENED, AND IT DID !!

    I managed to eat something, I seem to have lots of food. But I suddenly don't want to eat. Been doing chin-ups and watched this Pob clip like 20 times now.. Oh, yeah, and now I own an Iphone.

    Sat for a few hours in silence. I want to shave my head, think it might be a mistake.