Too Many Doughnuts, errr.... Secrets...

Woke up early got out of bed late, surprise, surprise.... Secondly, I Looked for disappointment on the Interweb, and found it.

I received a call from my mum, we arranged a time to meet. Awesome !!! that means I'm going to eat today. I met-up with my mum, she took me for lunch at the Greenhouse. After, we walked about Norwich for a bit. There was a rather large queue of people outside the Sci-fi shop. Mum and I went to nose at who it might be giving a book signing. We couldn't see, I pretended to browse the book shelves and get a glimps at who everyone was waiting for. A poster told us that it was Craig Charles from the television series Red Dwarf. There's supposed to be a new series of Red Dwarf. It's on channel 'Dave' and therefore crap, we can only assume that the BBC saw the pilot for the new series and told them to fuck-off.

Mum looked at some cosmetics in Boots. After what seemed like an eternity we left to walk to the bus stop. Some twat walked in front of me, but apparently it was my fault. The twat's bag somehow managed to hit my foot, as I continued to walk I heard some remarks calling me err... don't remember. I continued to walk, mum stopped to go into a paper shop, as I turned to follow I saw twat now standing at the corner of the street doing some kind of monkey dance. I gave the usual response by first looking at said twat, then laughed at him. Followed mum into the shop. As we came out I made sure I was first, expecting trouble, but he had fucked-off. Got on the park and ride to the airport.

Mum offered to pay for a haircut. The first barber's shop I visited wanted to steal my money, how much for a trim? he said thirteen pounds. wtf? I asked the question again, and he really did mean thirteen quid. I left saying I couldn't afford it. The next barber shop I visited I asked the price but he tried to baffle me with figures. I was still unsure of the price, though it was going to be somewhere in the region of nine pounds. It started at seven pound fifty for trim with clippers, or, Nine pound for scissor cut. When it was time to pay I gave ten pounds, and received fifty pence change.

Watched some tube clips for maths as revision.http://www.teachertube.com

Bye Bye Miss butterfly..

Did some more revision under the Henry Moore with Steve. It became a bit too windy so we moved to a secret location within campus. We found an area with leather sofas, it was so comfortable and after a while we didn't want to move back to our small rooms.

Later I left to go see my old friend Pete. Leaving plenty of time to get there. Oh dear, I worry that people think I'm following them. It's because sometimes I will bump into someone completely by chance but it always seems like I planned it. I knew of a friend who would be going to a party around the same time I travelled into the city. On the bus I noticed some others that I knew were going to the same place as the party. Shit, if I'm seen they are going to think I'm being a creep. I got off of the bus before the others, good I lost them. Some minutes later walking through the city centre I noticed the same people walking ahead of me. Damnit, it still looks like I'm headed the same direction as them. With earphones and rucksack I ran past them and a further 100 yards ahead. Well, that didn't look dodgy did it ?

Finally met Pete in the car park of where I use to work. We caught-up with each other's news for half an hour then said goodbye, with a promise to keep in touch.

Ran back into the city with weighted rucsack on my back. I think I remember at one point some twat pushed me on my shoulder (I just ignored him) and a little girl screamed at me as I ran past. Why I mention this, I don't know. Why I haven't violently assaulted anyone yet, I don't know.

Been listening to 'The Waterboys' a lot recently on my Ipod. Philip Glass will be coming to Norwich soon. Not sure I can afford the ticket, or afford my lack of self worth, going to see him on my own.

Digging for Fire

Wasted lots of time doing google searches for servers and passwords, and the old webcam trick. Listened to number station youtube music. Managed to do a very little amount of revision on complex numbers. I was going to see an old friend at 8:30pm but I was running late. Instead I returned a library book, then, walked around Norwich as quickly as I could. Then half fast walking and half jogging back to Uni. I tried to push myself as much as possible. I was holding too much energy and needed a release....


:( The girl from the room next door is squealing like a dog again. I can only assume there's some kind of murder taking place...

Swot Swot...

Finally decided to leave my room after laying about listening to Philip Glass on last.fm. I opened my door to find the cleaner standing in the hall, she was scribbling into a notebook. I must have given her a fright, dropping her notebook she was startled by my sudden appearance. She seemed to me to be hiding something. She quickly explained that she had to make notes on any damages for the head housekeeper.

Steve came over we sat outside in the sun under the Henry Moore sculpture revising C++. Steve's a good guy really, there's only one problem, and he will admit this openly. He's a incredible letch, I don't say anything but sometimes I find it embarrassing.

Steve knows people from Thetford that I went to college with. I mentioned someone I thought he might know, his response was, " yeah, he died of a heroine overdose." This guy I mentioned was quite a scary person, I didn't know him well, but he had invited himself a lift back home. The last time I saw him we were jumping into my car after a folk festival, making a quick get away... Harsh!

Later Steve went to the Sportspark to train some kids for the Athletics club. I returned to my room HUMph!!

Watched some security clips....
http://www.securitytube.net/

Japan Resort

The next few days will be rubbish, I've got no money left. I plan to visit Japan Resort in Second Life about four or five in the evening if you want to meet-up...


Went to get money on my credit card, denied. Went to go to the bank to get statement, oh yeah, it's Good Friday. There was a european market in the city centre...rubbish. There was also a fair in the park, not interested. Bought two onions and returned home. Somehow managed to waste another 12 hours checking email and Facebook in various states of undress. Took a couple of showers, just for fun. Reminds me of the Seinfeld episode where Krammer tries to live in the shower. Oh yeah watched some Seinfeld series 1 and B.S.G. I'm so alone.

a look on the Light Side

Things that have made me laugh today. Not laugh out loud in an insane way, so that people edge away from you on public transport !!! Honest!! Heh_

1) Some dude wearing a MiyaZaki t-shirt, why is that funny ? :/

2) Walking past the campus bookshop and seeing the book 'Core Pathology', yeah I know, this isn't really funny either !!

3) A bloke dressed as a 50's style Spiv, complete with hat waist coat and half undone old suitcase.

4) Remembering the Doughnuts I bought, and finding them in my rucksack

5) and something else, I can't remember, obviously not so hilarious.. I remembered !!! `Twas a sandwich board outside the museum publicising an Easter egg hunt for children. It was placed in front of the large dungeonesque entrance. Very sinister looking !!! Am I too weird for thinking like that ?


V=

Sweet Dreams

Got up very late again.. about 11:30. Went for coffee and maths and my friend the calculator. I'm better friends with my basic calculator than the graphic calculator. The graphic calculator has more features but I never know what buttons to press. Thought I would stop at china world to buy some packet noodles. I asked the woman which ones didn't contain meat. She short changed me by one pound. The price totalled one pound fourty-eight, I gave her two pound fourty-eight. As she handed me the receipt she said would you like a bag. I was a Little confused that she didn't give me change, but I just said no thank-you and left, assuming that I would receive some sort of reward later in the afterlife.

On the way back I was trying to cross the road, standing by the side of the parked cars, suddenly, a car full of old people drove at me from the other side of the road, blocking the oncoming traffic and the people behind them. They were trying to park in the empty space but they weren't happy with just parking. I had to move as well. I crossed the road in front of the 4x4 behind them which proceeded to sound its horn at me. I just ignored them, but I was ready to snap at this point. I had to get to the bus stop quickly before I started being the twat that I am.

Up at 11am and I was back in bed 3pm, I've slept like a corpse for five hours.

Bum Note Records

GEH !!! my memory has gone because I just spent most of the day walking around. OK..

Saw Powie in the campus shop he pretended not to see me and I didn't let on I saw him too. Maybe he's read what I wrote about him. Most people try to walk away from me nower days, I can't say I'm bothered..

1) Did some reading in the Forum coffee place. A strange woman sat near me and seemed to be trying to catch my attention. She wore strange boots like she was some kind of dominatrix, and her perfume was over powering. The other side of of where I sat, was a young lady giving helpful advice to a middle aged lady. She seemed to have all the right answers, as she helped sort the womans troubles. She seemed so wise, I was rather attracted to her, as you know that doesn't happen to me often. Not sure why but the woman with the boots made me think of Les Dawson playing the piano, hitting all the wrong notes. After doing some maths problems using my clipboard (Hahah!! I'm such a twat) I returned to campus.

2) Walked around the park and then the lake.

3) Went for a long walk into the city. I hadn't planned to, I was actually walking to the petrol station but then I just kept going. Coming out of Tescos a group of kids asked me for spare change. No, but I got this plastic bag to tape 'round your face, you little turd...

4) Took a look around the Library only to find I hadn't got my library card on me. So back to my room by bus, as I got on some chav shouted something at me, I couldn't hear him as I had my headphones on.

4) Got library card and return to the library. Made the mistake of walking Prince of Whales road with a book on `Mathematics for Science Students' under my arm. As I walked past one girl she shouted, "fuck-off you gay !!!" *cackle*. Got the bus home, drank tea slept for ages, might do some revision.

I've eat lots of junk food today, it's probably replacement for human affection.

Contracted Friends

Rock Lobster B-52_s
Uploaded by linoc804

Called Adam to tell him we will meet at noon to see Sean, our potential landlord. I mentioned that I was just off into the city to meet Chris. Adam decided to come along too. In the coffee shop Adam decided that the tea packets on display were like condom packets. He took great delight in shouting, "I thought they were condoms, Hahah !!! Earl Grey condoms." I was slightly fucking embarrassed but just went along with it. Chris finally arrived and we caught the bus back to campus. As we reached UEA we saw Sean. He was speaking on his mobile, and obviously having a private conversation. I looked over and waved just as Adam and Chris started to walk straight towards him. I can only imagine they intended to try purposefully piss him off. We headed to the CMP lab to get some free print-outs of the contract.

After the meeting in which I was the only person to pay cash on the deposit, we headed back into the city to eat noodles at Chopsticks. I now know what people feel like when they get stuck with me as I tag along. Difference is I would rather people just be rude if they didn't want me there. So now I'm locked-in to living with people I find difficult after 10 minutes let alone 12 months. They joked about how I will have to go clubing with them.

On the anger front, things aren't much better. I'm throwing myself in to maths and possibly giving-up Facebook. Always filled full of disappointment.

Please Don't be-Long my sweet

Sat drinking coffee with a book on Algebra. Met Powie at the bus stop. He said he hadn't eaten for three days and had just stuffed himself on noodles at Chopsticks, a strange choice of breakfast really. He got offended when I told him if he ever needed food I'd give him mine. He then went on to ask why I was dressed-up and had I been to church. I've just run-out of clean clothes to wear accept my white shirt. Back at campus we went for a walk around the lake. Powie is from a very different culture and some of the stuff he says is just harsh. He told me that he sometimes kicks cats and dogs, and when he was younger he stuck kittens in a mango tree to see if they could get down. There was loads of other harsh shit but I'm not going to divulge.

Went to my room and read some security sites. Then quickly became bored soI went for a walk in to the city and back. Walked around hoping to bump in to anyone I know, there was no-one. Where has everyone gone ? It's Easter break so campus seems so empty like my fridge..

I will lay-off the running tonight. It's no longer a healthy kind of running. It's running because of the need to; so tired today. It's now like a mental illness where I will run until I collapse, and then decide I haven't done enough, start all over again.. like punishment, I want punishment.

Later in the night I went for long walk, did lots of rolling and throwing myself down steps. I'm bruised all over but I still feel nothing... nothing is ever right, what the fuck is wrong with me, I think trees and lamp post might become bone and teeth soon I have to keep control, I will spend a large portion of tomorrow thinking quietly. This will come about a dramatic change, as I will channel energies to something positive.

Too far to fall, so high to climb

Sorry, nothing happened today:(

Met with mum, she bought me food and wash stuff. Mum kept asking what was wrong, and why I was looking so sad.

On the bus home the girl from Arizona, who lives across the hall got on. I walked back to my room with her. She's really introverted, shy but, nice. She spoke about how she's learning to speak French language but hates France. She will only be here for six months and doesn't have anyone to talk to.

Sat in my room the rest of the night, I'm afraid I started thinking again and started to become very angry. I'm sure you don't care, but it's about one particular person. He's actually really nice, and a good guy. This makes it more difficult as the hate slowly builds in my mind. Hate and Violence never achieves anything, doesn't matter, it's there, no-good just pretending. When I next see him I will try my best to be friendly. I think this might be difficult to do :(

Oh yeah, another thing... WTF is Harajuku Lovers Fragrance, so angRYYYYYYYYYYYYYY I could eat easter eggs whole :((((((((((

Interesting

Cor has emailed me, lucky I spotted his email amongst the spam. Sorry Cor I haven't been putting much effort into these updates and the interesting stuff that happens in my life has to sometimes be cut. Usually I'm just moaning about shit on this blog and some stuff I maybe shouldn't write about.

Today I was invited in the best way possible to a BBQ. I received a txt, giving me the postcode of the house. Straight onto google maps and I had the location and a picture of the house. That's the best invite I ever received. At around 12:30 I went to the city to buy some beer and fish for the BBQ.

There were four of us at the BBQ. We all got pretty drunk 'cept Powie who is a Jehovah's I think. At one point he acted offended as I brought the subject of cannibals. When does that ever normally happen that someone else in the group has a grandfather who was possibly a cannibal. After eating meat and fish we watched some Southpark. I was petty drunk walking home and almost forgot about all my troubles. I expect to become drunk more often.

Didn't go to London, instead I sat in my room typing my 'personal development plan.' I hate having to do this, but it's coursework.

It's been a nice day again. Went for a walk around the park to try figure-out what I'm going to put in my PDP. Bumped into someone from my course(that wasn't the person I was looking for!!!) we discussed the assignment and I might of accidentally told him that I thought all the people on our course were losers. Of course I'm the only real loser.

When I was a kid after a four hour session of playing pacman or frac I would go to bed seeing the game still in my mind. This has been happening to me recently but in a slightly different way. I'm sometimes having nightmares about the little red notification symbol on Facebook. It's different because the significance of the Facebook indicator has real life social meaning.

Met Steve, he's been working as a guide for openday on campus. We went for a walk around the lake. We're planning to start a elite group of CMP students sometime in the near future...it will never happen Heh

Scores on the Shores

Woke up early today, partly so that I could get a decent shower with warm water. Not burning hot, and not freezing cold.

There's been many programmes about Japan recently on the BBC. One mentioned the suicide rate. Every year apparently 30,000 people kill themselves. A friend has also mentioned this fact to me. She says that she also has known and stopped friends that have felt depressed. I couldn't comment on why the suicide rate in Japan is so high, but I'm lead to believe that it's due to bullying and working long hours. But I wonder if there's something within Japanese culture that is contributing to the problem. Then again what the fuck do I know...

Some drunk smelly person was knocking about Tesco. He stood really close to me as I scanned my goods into the automatic checkout. Just as I was paying he started to ask me if I used a Tesco card and I could use his if I like. Didn't bother looking at him, just said no and blanked him. Something else that was strange was the other day some well dressed elderly man asked me for a pound to get home. I didn't think I heard him properly at first. As I leaned in to hear better, he stumbled back on his walking stick as if he thought I was going to hit him.

I've failed maths, I'm sure of it. Soon I will take the exam which will be 80% of the module; so there maybe a chance to recover. I fucking hope so, if anyone is capable of failing foundation level it's me.

Recently I gained the full first series of Seinfeld and Battlestar Galactica. Seinfeld never bores me, I can watch it over and over...

It was nice weather today, I totally spent it alone.

Met with Chris the other day. He looks so young, and he is. I'm fed-up, desperate to hear from my friend. I get the feeling it's all one sided on my part, in reality she hardly even recognises me as someone that even exists. Soon like most people I have known in my life she will be gone forever.

Another person from my school contacted me. They work in London during the week as a manager or something, he is a nurse. In his email he says, "I'm glad to see you doing well for yourself." If only he knew.

Oh Yeah, one other thing. There seems to be some kind of dirty protest going on in the kitchen. Nobody is clearing-up and they leave bits of food everywhere. Also, lots of broken bottles just left precariously in piles on the table.

He's the Bad Boy

Sat drinking coffee in Forum, using my eeepc to practice passing by address. It's true !!! You can't find decent Jazz CDs in Norwich. HMV is rubbish, so I ventured Anglia Square into the old record shops. Much better, I found a second hand CD for a friend. Though I'm not sure if it's really the kind of thing she was expecting. Not many piano solos.

Couldn't sleep, watched some Battle Star Galactica, it's not too bad. People have rated it as the same as 'The Wire' so I'm giving it a go. So I couldn't sleep, kept thinking about where has everyone gone. OK enough of that. I went for a run into the city and various places. On the way back drunk twats walking behind me started saying," let's get him." More of a drunk joke I guess, not really funny. I stopped and stood there while they walked past me, I don't give a fuck I want to be beaten-up. That way I might know I'm still exist. The girl kept saying, "please don't, leave him." But they just walked past. So I continued to walk, this time behind them. They started to joke and one put his arm around me pointing to his friend saying,"he's the one, he's the bad boy." I just laughed and then they fucked-off. Shame really this has been my third attempt to get attacked in the past two months. If you try with a group of men who are bigger than you they won't attack because you're too small. So I need to find someone with small mans complex.

Shake my Teeth

WTF? My cleaner this morning played me a pornographic ring tone on her mobile. She' in her 50s. Also, she keeps showing me pictures of her 16 year old granddaughter. I had to stand for about three minutes pretending to laugh while listen to such lyrics as," Yogi bear, Yogi bear, stuck it in her mouth."

Luckily I could listen to Belle and Sebastian on Last.fm instead. I never been to Tokyo but I like this song anyway, and look there's running in the video too. I do that, that's me that is. I wish;)

Bumped into someone I really like today, they hate me. I care, but I'm in denial. Walked away grinning like a fool, which of course I am.

Let us be Appalling

Didn't bother to go outside today, shame, it looked like nice weather. Watched aprogramme about Japan and Japanese fish. I don't think I'm ever going to make it to Japan, I'm too mental. Spent some time practicing bowing in front of a mirror. I have a new theory that if I act very lazy I will hopefully begin to feel guilty and do loads of work. The guilt hasn't kicked in yet, just drinking lots of tea.

This is a poem...well done me_

Lazy Ambition

Lazy ambition
Eyes half closed, watching the clouds
Life escaping me

Loveless mind, blank light
Effort expended not worth
Not worth the effort

Shadow of a soul
I leave myself behind with
With nobody near

Lifeless dead shadows
Nearing the death of my life
Lazy ambition

Timothy Weiermann

Fagin's Workshops and Seminar

Didn't get out of bed 'till eleven today. I just lay listening to last.fm with the curtains closed. One of the downsides to living in campus accommodation is that the cleaner enters the room every day around 10. It forces you to get dressed and not sit about stark bollock naked. Hmmm, maybe that's a good thing.

At two I went to C-hall to debate this weeks paper, haptics. I hadn't read the paper, and Adam the guy who suggested we read it, didn't even turn-up. Somehow I managed to turn the level of conversation to credit card fraud. It was obvious that everyone now sees me as a criminal. I made a basic mistake, not keeping the mouth closed.


One thing that was mentioned was that the University have bought about 12 haptic pens. Hopefully next week we may get to play with them. They cost about 5000 dollar each. They are considered cheap, and because of this I guess it was made cheaply too(apparently they break very easily.)


Link: Last.fm~The Killers

Dharma Bowl Overdraft

Arrived early at Norwich Buddhist Centre. There seemed to be someone i hadn't met before on reception, he was very friendly and welcoming. While I waited on the sofa, a large bald headed man came in to enquire about meditation class. They said that a class was about to start and that he was welcome to join in. You could tell that he didn't really want to as he made a half arsed excuse. Instead he asked about a CD on learning to meditate. He went further to explain that he would soon be going to Thailand to become a monk... wtf ? I wasn't convinced, then again, who am I to say ?

A lot of hints were made to leave a donation*cough* in the dharma bowl. I have no money, but through guilt I left a fiver, I don't think I will be going back. Not sure yet..

Recieved another MSG from an old school friend. Maybe when I next walk past him in the street I will say HI!! He is married with two boys, a house, many cars and probably new teeth :( Some of the memories though, Heh_ so funny..

Some hippy looking dude sat near me in Marzanos. He was on his mobile and seemed to be in an argument, he kept saying out loud, "There's a great big loaf in the veg box!!!" He hung-up, then a few seconds latter he was trying to ignore the rather groovy ring tone. Answering again he repeated, this time more firmly stating out loud,"there's a great big loaf in the veg box!!!" GEH, I guess you had to be there.
I wasn't necessarily laughing at him, just how bazaar the argument was sounding:)

Character Study this, Fucker !!!

Nothing to report, moan moan moan, still full of hate !!!

Been in the computer lab most of the day working on pointers and parsing by reference.

A SHIT DAY~ I think everyone is dead now.

You Only Live Twice

Met potential landlord with the two people from my course. I haven't even seen the inside of the house yet. They are already talking about BBQs, I'm not sure about living with meat eaters. Still, I've got no other options.

It was a nice day today, somehow I spent it sitting with said course mates in Anglia Square eating 1 pound Iceland choc ices. I want to kill myself_ instead I've been for an early morning run into the city and back under the watchful eye of the police.

Got my eeepc back with fixed keyboard. Managed to build-essentials but it still broke the openoffice packages even after pinning.

What am I going to do? My view of myself is at a all time low. I hate me, even the Buddhists hate me...

An old friend from way back got in contact with me from friends reunited. He and his family are successful estate agents and letting agency. I will write back to him, but it will be embarrassing explaining the last fifteen years. I know he has seen the dark too, 'cept his family are loaded and gave him a ready made job..

Tried to embed this 'Last.Fm' into the sidebar : Failed...

Tried to find-out how to parse vectors to functions in C++ : Failed...

Tried to communicate with the opposite sex : Failed...

Lookin the other Way

Before I met-up with mum, I sat drinking coffee in the Forum (surprise) I have to read a sixteen page paper about `haptics'. The more I read about haptics the angrier I feel; think I managed to read two pages before I gave-up.

Norwich Stop the War were doing a vigil outside, I did a pretty good job of ignoring them.

Mum took me to the Greenhouse for lunch, as always the people were top notch. It's always a pleasure to find solace there, away from the crowds of shoppers. If you have friends it's the best place you can take them to.( I nearly got into a fight (surprise)

Later when it had gotten dark, I was walking back to Constable Terrace. I noticed the rabbits suddenly start to run away from the trees. It made me think someone was in woods. Then with the sound of smashing glass three chavs on bicycles came careering down the road. It was too late to find a brick and chuck it at them. Like the Alan Partridge I am, I went to the security lodge to report them, in the vain hope they would catch hold of them and presumably drown them in the river.

Make Haste

Went for meditation class, some good points were discussed. Stuff that people who strive for understand and truth probably already understand. It's good to be reminded of the basics. Unfortunately I always come to the same conclusion; that love is never something that I can have. It's never going to happen for me. If this is true then what will it mean ? I'm pretending to move forward but deep down I can't see any future. I will never be able to trust anyone. (It's selfish I know, I think there is a right time to shout and not be silent.)

I was supposed to go view a house today. I just sat in the Forum drinking coffee. When I returned to my room I saw thirteen messages sent to my mobile. I should care but I don't.

Making miso soup with sea vegetables and rice, maybe I will feel OK after, and stop being such a miserable fool.

Boldy is Boldy

Hey !!! Boldy I saw you looking.. thought I had lost you there.

Had to hand in presentation slides for my talk on Open Source. We will be the last group to speak on Monday. Been revising the C++ and messing with functions and parsing by reference.

Today was dark.. again :/ at one point I went back to bed and lay in a tight ball listening to `Loveless', the My Bloody Valentine Album.

Off to view potential rented housing tomorrow, fun fun fun... I really don't understand people at all

Good Morning

Once at the Oriental Arts Centre I overheard a conversation about one of the martial arts instructors ex-girlfriends. She kept turning-up to his class. Surely this was very inconsiderate of her to be where she knew he would be. She was not a considerate person...

If I knew I was to go somewhere I'm not welcome, I would be fully in the wrong. I should expect some consequences from this action.

Karamoon: Photos From Afghanistan

Karamoon: Photos From Afghanistan

Mental Leakage_ Breaks down in a Test of Life

Pretty Rain CLoud Friend

Up with a shower then cup-a-tea in time for C++ lecture. We did basic C++ functions. Passing by value, passing by reference. In the lecture things were explained in a simple manner, it's good not get bogged down with complexity. Sometimes functions and pointers become confusing. There's no need to think of it as memory address space at this level, just say 'pass by value.'

The weather was turning-out nice again so I went for a walk in Earlham Park. Stopped to do some meditation in the garden. Just then, I felt light rain on my face, looking up I saw a fluffy rain cloud. The rain was quite pleasant, and I knew it would soon pass by. It is right to give praise; I thank-you 'Pretty Rain Cloud' it means more to me than you know. I hope I see you again soon..Hheh_wtf ? WWww

Keep getting the day wrong, for some reason I thought it was Friday. I caught the bus into town to go to the Buddhist centre. Oh Yeah, it's Thursday !! Fuck it !! I'll just wonder around for a bit, then come back to campus.

Spent the rest of the day in the Lab, messing with C++ functions...

The past couple of days have been a mixture of great joy and unsurprising hopelessness.

All harsh language in this text is purely for effect, and does not accuretly reflect the true feelings of contributer_

Shine like the Sun

Such a good day, the weather has been beautiful. Bumped into Yuko today on the way to my lecture. I was so happy, I haven't seen Yuko in a long while. She showed me some great pictures she had taken, of the Crocuses in Earlham Park.

In my lecture we were supposed to be discussing a technical paper, the conversation went wildly off topic, as they started to discuss religion and science. I just sat grinning to myself, I was having such a good day...

Back at the flat, maintenance had been fixing door handles. Shawn had been cooking in the kitchen, when he returned to his room, he discovered they had finished and locked his door along with his room key inside. I had to lend him some trainers so he could walk down to the security lodge. He invited me to go out tomorrow to the L.C.R. it's not really my thing. We also talked about getting a house sorted for next year.

They can't Take that Away, from Me

Went to the cathedral for morning service. There was a guest giving the sermon, 'Father Gregory Fruehwirth, Guardian of the Julian of Norwich, Wisconsin USA, it was good though at first I was a little mislead as to what he was saying.

I came to remember a TRUTH today that I had forgotten. Still can't concentrate, Still sometimes thinking of the ultimate solution.

The Less We Say About it the Better

(broken keyboard) Had one of my strange nightmares last night. For some reason when I awoke, I had the feeling that I had to go to the train station, so I did. It wasn't until I was on the bus traveling into Norwich, I realised a thought from my dream, that was of someone saying to me, "I saw you at the train station." I don't know what I thought I would find there, and no surprise, nothing! I just had this odd feeling that I had to go. One thing I noticed is the new barrier they put across the concourse.

Walked to the Forum to do some maths and a little C programming. The music they play in that place is dire, still you can't complain, can you?

Back in my room I received a phone call. "We're outside, come out." I didn't actually know who it was, and I hadn't arranged to meet anyone. I looked outside and there was no-one there- Eh? After a couple of minutes I took another look outside to see Adam and Chris; two of my course mates. Apparently we had arranged to go look at a house to rent. They have asked me to move in with them, mainly because they cant find anyone and I'm their last choice, as Maginde's parents told him he has to remain on campus next year.

We walked bloody miles through housing estates to find the house, which was currently occupied by three Chinese people. After knocking we entered, I felt a bit weird, it was eleven in the morning and they were still in their pajamas eating breakfast. They still had a Christmas tree in their front room Heh_ Well anyway, the place was in a bad area, and was too small.

We sat on the side of the road waiting for the bus back into town. Chris kept playing the song, 'Don't worry be happy' from his mobile; it was like being in a badly made film.

Before going our separate ways Chris and Adam bought hot dogs. While waiting in the queue we received some abuse from some Chavs.

Adam and I returned to the UEA to sit in my room watching "Monkey Magic", Yes another productive day..

Act your Age

Went to an early math lecture, it was crap. Travelled into Norwich with some friends to go eat at Chopsticks. I was the oldest out of the three of us by about 100 years. Came home, slept alot.

I like Your Pole

Attempted to update my CV. There's just an endless list of rubbish jobs, done previously. Yesterday there was mention of part-time work in an office.

Met Steve in the CMP common room to discuss our presentation. We didn't get much done, the presentation has to be a convincing argument on switching UEA education and research software to open source.

I mentioned:

chaos computer club CCCTV
Richard STAllman
Linus Torvald
freshmeat.net
gnu

I don't think anyone listened or I didn't explain properly.



A young girl sat in front of me on the bus today. I mention this because I was nearly violently sick..Heh. Her perfume was so stRONG!! At first not too bad, but the more I tried not to breath the worse it got. I actually felt ill and had a headache, I guess I could have just moved to another seat, but I didn't want to offend. All day the smell was impregnated into my mind, even after shower I could taste like it had invaded my internal organs, no exaggeration.

Went for coffee and martial arts. At the coffee shop a woman asked me what was in my bag. When I explained it was a Bo staff I felt I had to explain further. "It's for martial arts." She then started saying sorry and looked uncomfortable. Then she wanted to know what martial arts, lucky enough it was my turn in the queue to be served, I dodged the question.

At Budo I was shit, I cant even master the basics. It's good to be very critical of yourself, but, every week I get worse.

Now I Want to be Your Dog

Had absolutely nothing to do today, well, not officially. Today I was determined to find work. Any old crap will do, 'cept no chemicals errr... no killing animals hmmm.. no making of electronic devices designed to monitor people. OK.. I'll just say I'll do anything, and when the job they offer me turns-out to be crap, I can just walk away.

I went to the job centre again today, the less said the better. The place is like a refugee camp.

Went to the employability office, on campus. No help, just look, "we've got a computer and here's our website."

Spent the rest of the day reading security related papers, and pretending I was dead.

Imposter-able

After a fantastic early mornings walk, I had a great breakfast of honey toast and Lapsang tea then orange juice. I spent the day inquiring in shops about work. Most people just laughed. I'm rapidly running-out of money. I have also secretly been boiling with anger inside. Luckily it;s only on the inside, despite it being Saturday and Norwich very busy, I had no trouble.

Went for a walk around Earlham park lunch time. I think it might be something I will do everyday from now on.

The internet is down in my room, so I;ve had to hack a wireless connection. I'm standing on the balcony trying to get a good signal. Oh, my mobile rang. That never happens, what a surprise, wrong number!!!

THE BADGER PARADE IS LOOKING GOOD, SO FAR !!!
I been listening to this song today, over and over...

Sly Fox

I was going to spend the day looking for a Part-Time job. There's no point in asking face-face at the local supermarkets, they all have applications online.

One application involved a personality test...obviosly it wasn't too bad. Here's the result:



Agreeableness

Your score of 9 on the Agreeableness scale means that you are actually a very sensitive person. You are probably quite an emotional individual in the sense that you are aware of your own and other people's feelings. You would almost certainly place the needs and feelings of your colleagues at the top of your priorities. Indeed, you would generally be seen as a caring and compassionate person who wanted to put people and their needs first. Clearly, this suggests that you would be at your best where relationships and empathy were important, but it could also mean that you sometimes find it quite difficult to deal with colleagues or customers who might be less sensitive in their manner.
Conscientiousness

You have scored 4 on the Conscientious scale. This indicates that you might not always be particularly organised or structured in your approach to work. You might not be particularly concerned with procedural matters that you believe are unnecessary or unimportant, and you could occasionally overlook or ignore the small regulations or details that you see as irrelevant. You might well tend to concern yourself with what you see as the broader aspects of your role, rather than with the small and detailed tasks of your everyday duties. Most of the people who are successful in roles at B&Q stores have a high regard for procedures and getting details right, but you might find some of these requirements to be quite restrictive.
Conformity

You have achieved a score of 6 on the scale of Conformity. This suggests that you are a fairly orthodox and conventional person who conforms to the accepted rules of social behaviour. You are likely to be comfortable in both formal and informal atmospheres and probably would not have a very strong preference for one over the other. You are likely to prefer changes in the work-place to be small and gradual rather than large and fast. Because you would value the best aspects of established ways and techniques you would probably be wary of anything that appeared to be too unconventional. Even so, you are probably not the kind of person who actively resists change, providing that you can see its purpose. Indeed, you would probably welcome innovations where you could see the obvious benefits. All in all, therefore, you would generally fit best into those work environments where changes were usually gradual and evolutionary.
Extroversion

Your Extroversion scale score of 3 indicates that you are generally more of an introvert rather than an extrovert and that when dealing with other people you could sometimes be seen as rather reserved. Indeed, you might not enjoy a job that required you to initiate social contacts with lots of unfamiliar people, so you might not be very suited to dealing with lots of customers who wanted your advice.

You would probably tend to approach your duties in a calm and considered way which means that you could carry out repetitive and routine tasks to a high standard. As you would probably value steadiness and some predictability at work you would be likely to enjoy any role that required a measured approach rather than an impulsive and ever-changing environment. This could mean that you disliked some elements of working in a very hectic B&Q store at peak times.
Emotional Stability

Your score of 8 on the Emotional Stability scale suggests that you are generally a fairly confident and optimistic person who would express your thoughts and ideas openly in most situations. You have quite a strong character which means that you could probably be quite assertive if you thought that you needed to be.

You're likely to be quite enthusiastic and would probably approach your work with a fair degree of ambition. You would probably be fairly decisive in most situations and if confronted with problems at work you would generally be able to make most decisions on your own without asking for help from your superiors. You are, in all probability, quite resistant to work related stress. Indeed, not only could you cope with most pressure, you might actually find that a limited amount of stress at work acted as a good motivating force.

Shave my Skin

Though it's the coldest time of year, Constable Terrace is very warm. I keep the window open, and last night had to kick the covers off. I Woke to the pleasant sound of the birds chirping outside, which is soon replaced by the buses running up and down Chancellor's Drive.

Before I left my room this morning I got the clippers out. I shaved my beard off and now look five years younger, so I'm told.

I had an appointment to go see the doctor, because of a long running infection. She took some skin samples, and gave me a prescription of antibiotics.

I thought it would be a good idea to go look for work at Norwich job centre. Sure, of course, it was a very bad idea. I then spent most of the day listening to radio 4 in the kitchen, and cooking myself pasta. By half past six I still haven't done any work :/

Did the World Stop Turing ?

I'm supposed to be writting my report on Alan Turing. Can't find a good source for algorithms.

Dishy on a Little Fishy

Things have been better today. I received a surprise message from someone. Not sure what to make of it yet, though it cheered me up immensely.

Went to study skills lecture. We had to discuss how well we thought a report on facial mapping was written. It was good, mainly because it gave me the chance to speak-out in front of a group; which I hate doing. But... hadn't the guy prepared a proper lecture or something ? The report was given to us to highlight key points at the start of the semester. Strangely, this morning I threw loads of paper from my room away, including my highlighted copy of this report. DOH!!

Borrowed a book on 'Latex' from the library. Sadly, I got excited to see rolling shelves. I've only seen rolling shelves on telly' before, and my little head was getting really excited to be using them heh wtf? I wondered how many people had been crushed for a joke in them. It's all so predictable Heh...

Now writing my report on Alan Turing. Outlining four of his most important published papers, three of his algorithms, his education and career. It has to be written in three A4 sheets; that's not possible.

Sources I will use are:
Wikipedia
Google Scholar.
The book 'Essential Turing'.

Today it became law not to take photgraphs of the police. I think that's right ? You can now be sent to jail for this ?

What Are You Going to DO ?

Might start posting again soon...
At the moment I really can't see any point in continuing with anything..
Things I have done, and things I'm supposed to have done..
Someone once said it was good to see a dream, I tried to see a dream. I imagined it, and tried to make it happen. It never happens !!! I seriously think I'm cursed and more...

Been playing with lego robots, programming them with Not Exactly 'c'.
Writting about Alan Turing using Latex.
Programming basic C++. G
etting very confused in math lectures err... I mean doing more integral calculus. Installed Texnix on my Eee, but in German :/ (It forces you to learn German.)

Maginde came 'round, I lent him loads of DVDs, we watched episode seven of 'Generation Kill' from HBO. He stood the whole time because he thinks I'm going to stab him ? :/ He says I'm like Jack the Ripper. Thanks, I hate myself as it is..

Morrisey was on the Johnathan Ross show. I hate it when people moan and write about women on bloggs, though it is tempting. Especially when the person you think of way too much, is someone who doesn't even like you.

#EOF...

Playing with LaTex

Today we had a workshop on using 'Latex', which is actually pronounced phonetically 'Lay-Tec'. Latex is good because- One ...It isn't Microsoft and Two.. it prints character fonts correctly, unlike Microsoft. It is like HTML, and used by mathematicians and scientists to create articles and reports.

LINK_ LaTex Website

Things must be bad; how do I know? At the coffee shop, they made my coffee before even said what I wanted..Heh. Next time I will order something different. Keep them on there toes.

Around campus people get confussed and are always asking me if I'm a student or lecturer, I guess because of the beard. Also, while I was waiting outside the computer lab' some dude was either being friendly or quizzing me on what subject I was studying :/ Once I told him I was a 'year zero' he soon lost interest Hahah !!! He left saying, "enjoy your lecture." Actually I found-out there's a Dr. at UEA with the same name as me.

My most favourite computer name scanned this week goes to 'FlatRoundPoo' XD

On the bus home two students got on wearing pigs' heads. It was actually pretty good, and slightly sinister.

Might write a piece about registry hacking or WEP cracking.

Investing In People Since '89

Type Something Good Here

Thought I was going to get six hours of lectures about programming today. Instead we got a small talk on what programming languages exist. After we all went to the Zest the food place on campus and talked shit.

I caught the bus into the city to buy a monocular and another replacement power lead for my laptop. Sat as usual drinking coffee and playing with my EEE.

Wen t martial art lesson. I haven't been for some time, it was crap...After I walked Prince of Whales road to eat pizza chips. There were lots of people out for the night, I sat watching them and stufing my face. The
guy behind te cunter gave me more free stuff, he gave me a can of coke =D

Stood at the bus stop watching the timetable display reboot a cuple of times with WinXP. Did a bit of sanning while I waited. The bog has broken in my flat so when I rturned at 1 am I went to the loo in te wood outside. I could hear twigs break
and thought maybe someone was there. Suddenly a fox darted out of te wood and back, which was nice. I bet it was after one of the many rabbits that
sit on te grass everywhere you look here at UEA.( My wireless keyboard wont let me type propppper, I can't be arsed)

Be Seeing You No_6

It's A Tragedy

This blog has now officially turned into a moan-a-thon. To save my sanity I have decided to only speak to people when I'm spoken to. This way I will get more work done, and my train of thought won't be distracted.

I think some people have pretended not to see me, and also when they thought I hadn't seen them they crept past. But to my face they're friendly. Of course as a coincidence for the past few days we've accidentally been at the same place at the same time. On the bus I walked past someone who I like, but think they don't really want to be friends. As I walked past they pretend to look out of the bus window. But, maybe it's the other way 'round, they think I don't want to speak. I don't want to cramp people's style, so why do they bother to be nice...just be honest.

I had to write that, it keeps creeping into my thoughts.

WENT TO Progeny, bought a 1GB thumb drive to install BackTrack 3 on. Then went to drink coffee and do work. A elderly lady asked me questions about my EEE PC, I didn't do a very good job of explaining to her what it was al about. I couldn't explain anything without using jargon, she looked a bit puzzled. She said she had just done a course, 'Computers for te Terrified'..Heh Still, I think she might go buy one now.

Sat next to my table was someone from my college days. They are a mother now; lots of mothers and their babies meet at the coffee shop to chat. Not sure if she's realised who I am, I hope not :/

Got BT3 working of the thumb drive on my Asus. Fired-up Kismet and went for a walk around campus. Due to te cold my hand became clamped around the glossy little black box. I think I'm in love_

I can think of plenty of reasons to not speak to me ...LOL Hahaha!!!
Forget about it already... I can't !! I hope I haven't upset anybody

Can wait for tomorrow, a full day !!!
Thursday's Lectures

20 second boot

Cleaned Buddhist Centre, everyone was friendly.

Took leaflets to the learning shop

Read some work on texture mapping in film animation.#

Bought the Winter edition of 2600.

Bought an Asus 900A EEE PC

Had math lecture with new Math lecturer, (we did stuff that we had done previously, Integrals) The Greek nutter was there...

Nearly bought a book on 'Lifesaver Calculus'

Went with two friends after maths into the city. There were lots of people waiting to get onto the bus. Someone suggested we run the 100 yards to the other bus stop and get on before the crowds of people. What a suprise, us three nerds ran through campus and managed to miss two buses on the way. It was funny though. We went to eat noodles. I'm not sure about my fellow students, they can't even name what the command shell is in windows. And explain 'root' in terms of Microsoft. They better be joking :/

Must get Backtrack onto thumb drive

Mary Contrary.

I want to write something here, but I know it will be too depressing and self involved. Start of the new Uni' term has been ok, just a one hour lecture. But the people, I'm blanked everywhere. Even by people who seem to be my friend. I don't know what the fuck has gone wrong. Maybe they think I'm ignoring them, but evidence points to the contrary. Fuck, I've already said too much ...err.. forget that.. everything is marvelous, and I didn't nearly get into another fight, honest!!!

My student loan is in the bank, might buy a Asus EEE PC and another book on Calculas.

Knight takes Queen

There is a well known English saying, "Eat, Drink and be Merry; for tomorrow we might Die!!!"

I've been dead for three or four days, three I think ?

Managed to watch BladeRunner all the way through wthout falling asleep. It really is good.

I need a shower three days of bed makes M000 smelly !!

I want to go surfing :/

Nothing for you Here

Brenda the cleaner woke me this morning, as she entered my room. Lucky enough I was fully clothed. We wished each other happy new year and exchanged gossip. After checking Facebook, and listening to Scott Lockmans podcast, in which he is calling himself the King of Japanese podcast...Hahah!! I went to look if the new students had moved in yet. Instead I found Brend in th kitchen, where we lstened to some radio an chatted some more.

Later I went to buy biscuits and ended up at the Forum drinking coffee and looking for Math books. Came back to campus and bought som Thai sticky rice and chilli sauce. I'm now waiting fo mum to pick me up, I'm going back to Holt.

Dumb Question

For some reason I couldn't sleep... I got out of bed at 6 a.m. to shower and organize my stuff for going back to UEA. My bus would leave Holt at 7:05 am so I decided to watch 'The Wire- Series One', drinking tea.

It had been snowing outside and I was careful not to slip with my large army surplus kit bag on my back weighing me down. Stood at the bus stop with the real people that have to got to work everyday. Half way through the journey the bus stops and picks-up extra passengers. Suddenly a bus with a few people on-board becomes a bus with people having to stand. They had to stand partly because my bag had a seat all of its own, and nobody asked me to move it.

I went to help clean at the Buddhist Centre. Met Tom and Julian who both wished me happy new year. Tom had spent the Christmas visiting Prague and Polish Nazis Death camps.


I bought a rolling mat, some Nori and rice wine off of the market. I hope to be making some Sushi and learning to become a good cook soon.

Back at my room at UEA I checked my emails. I recieved an email telling me the database coursework had been returned an left on the undergradue pigeonholes. I was bricking it at expectig to find a low mark. Searchng the box of returned assignents I culd see people had been given 50%-60%, surely then I would get maybe 20% or sm crap. OMFG, I'm not sure how but I got 82%, I'm pretty chufed with that. But now wait to see hw badly I fucked-up Maths coursework and exam :/

Met Alex at 4pm to go see the film CHE at cinema city. We were slightly early so we drank tea in the bar. I asked Alex some direct personal questions that made him look visibly uncomfortable, which I probably shouldn't have done. I don't understand other people very well, and usually can only speak with one person at a time. I'm not good in groups. Alex a one point mentioned the syndrome Aspergers, I'm not sure if he was directing that comment at me, but I do have trouble relating to people. I blame the amount of drugs I did as a teenager.

Alex and I went to pay for our cinema tickets. I went first because I had my student card; Alex waived his card in the air at the cashier and spoke very quickly weaving the lies amongst the truth. Hence cheap tickets...

Because i hadn't slept at first I was drifting off into sleep and making strange snoring noises as I drifted in and out of consciousness. After awhile I got into the film and became more alive. It was obvious that everyone in the cinema watching thought of themselves as some kinda communist or revolutionary anarchist, I hate that. When the film ended some people said something in Spanish out loud. OK :/ In response I would have liked to have licked my eyes.

Alex didn't really want to but he followed me to Prince of Whales road to eat pizza. I ordered a 12" vegetarian with philipeanos to share. We sat watching the street and I tried to ask Alex more probing questions, it was useless trying to get information out of him. The pizza guy made the 12" and gave us a free 9" cheese pizza with extra grease. One of Alex's work colleagues and friends was walking past and came in to say hello. I think his name was John and had been a Computer Science student at UEA, doing artificial intelligence. He was friendly and seemed to be OK. I didn't speak much to him and continued to stuff my face with pizza.

We walked to Alex's house in the freezing night air. Drank tea at Alexs, then home on the bus.

Watched four more episodes of 'BRITS that Made the Modern World'. One about the first 3D computer game 'Elite'. The Cambridge students that made the game Elite used the Fibonacci sequence to fit more code into the limited Atom microcomputer's memory. The next programme was about Lotus formula one. The next the Harrier Jumpjet; the British RAF weren't so keen as the American Marines to buy the Harrier. Lastly the tilting train.

Went for a walk around Castle Acre today, then for coffee at what looked to be a beautiful country mansion. Unfortunately despite on my parents last visit the Hotel was allegedly ok, this time was different. There was a chav blonde girl on reception complete with naff tattooed wrist. They charged 1.95 pounds for what she tried to tell us was proper coffee. The coffee was presented well, in silver pots, but the coffee smelt and tasted rubbish, and was obviously instant. CRIMINALS!!! If you don't care about coffee, I don't care about you...heh only joking.

Sea View

Went to look at houses with my uncle and aunt. We ended-up walking the beach at Walcott. SO cold..



Watched documentary about the development of the mobile phone network in England. The competition between Racal-Vodaphone, who made military radio until that time and Cellnet BT.

Ignored

Spent Christmas and New Year with family, it was crap..
OK playing with my niece and nephew was ok and I didn't mind standing-up and sitting on my nephew's whoopee cushion for the thousandth time..but I did notice when ever I tried to speak to anyone I was met with one to five word answers, or, just totally ignored. Now sometimes I will mention something and then immediately someone else mentions the exact same thing.

Next year I will definitely not bother to hang around long after Christmas, I will make sure I do my own thing.

I was woken this morning by the sight of my mum standing at the bottom of my bed holding a pair of pants, "do these pants belong to you ?" wtf ? I grunted no, and went back to sleep.

Later we all wrapped-up warm to go watch the fireworks at the end of Cromer pier. There were lots of families and couples out to see the firework display and though cold the atmosphere pleasant. That was until some miserable twat started to complain that he couldn't see properly. The display was OK but meant nothing to me, I stood alone.

Fifteen minutes of fireworks and two hours to get out of the car park. When we all stood watching the fireworks everybody came together; when we left the car park it was survival of the fittest and now everyone, again was back to hating each other.

H A P P Y N E W Y E A R

A Book and Cover

I had such a good nights sleep back here in Holt. Lots of tea and biscuits and fantastic breakfast. Mum and I went to 'First Lost Property' and I got my keys back. We then went to my flat and I packed my bags for Christmas break. My mum saw Yuko's Christmas card and found it funny, it depicted a old lady ice skating and being flung around by her legs, with the caption 'At Christmas we like to Give Grandma some Exercise.' WWW

That's it, that's all I've done.. I might make some sushi ? or I could do Calculus__ Gosh, a world of possibilities !!! The network is vast and infinite

I'm liking the Google Hot Trends app' so funny watching what people google.

The Key to Success

Travelled the bus to the Cathedral. The Cathedral seemed to be very busy. The guy who has turrets or something was mumbling about how people only come to church at Christmas. The two lady ushers were on the door and always make me feel welcome. They tried to make polite conversation with me.

After the service it was coffee then home. When I arrived home I realised I had lost my keys. I went to tell security at the security lodge; there was a slim chance that I had left the keys in the lock to my room. Security informed me that it was £25 pounds to let me in. Before paying any money I went away and tried to get Shawn to answer the door but he was playing on his Xbox loud war games LOL.. Hmmm.. I ended up looking around campus in skips for stuff to breakin with.. On my search I found a digital multimeter a PSU a DVD drive and various electronics.

I recounted my tracks at the Cathedral and Marzanoes but nobody had my keys, I later managed to find the bus from this morning. Success he had handed to the keys to 'First Lost Property.' Unfortunately they will not be open until Monday.

I walked about killing time, and went to see Alex, maybe I could get my DVDs. Oh yeah, Alex was at work. I walked back into the city to go to the Cathedral Carol Service. Just as me and a bunch of other people arrived they shut the doors. I walked 'round to the side entrance a managed to get in. It took me awhile to find my singing voice, and a few of the carols I hadn't heard before. The place was packed and I wasn't the only sad act on my own.

After the Carol Service I walked to the cinema to watch the trailers. Alex was there and he spotted me from upstairs in the VIP Gallery area WWW He came down to chat and gave me chocolate gold coins. I told him about how I lost my keys and he very kindly offered to let me stay at his house.

After watching the trailers I walked about looking at the Christmas lights and pretending to be a tramp. I then spent sometime rolling over a large block of concrete stairs and doing leg stretches while I waited for my parents to pick me up.

I'm now back in Holt and watching lots of television.

Happily Ever After..

Yuko was supposed to be meeting me today to give back some DVDs. She later sent me a Txt saying she wasn't able to. I called Alex to ask for the DVDs he has of mine. For some reason it wasn't possible because he has to go work at the cinema or something.

Walked around Norwich, bought some food. I was walking to the supermarket to buy biscuits when I chanced upon a fight. Some guy was being attacked by two twats. I decided to intervene. While one was arguing with the bloke, who was on his own, I tryed to calm the other. I could smell the alcohol and he was asking me if I thought I was hard. A bus driver stopped and he was pulling at my elbow. I thought he thought I was one of the people fighting. He said, " get on the bus," and winked. The bloke being hassled got on the bus and I followed. With Twat1 banging on the bus window we drove back down the road where I had just walked. Hhehe.. it was strange, I was wondering to myself what the hell am I doing on this bus. heh!!

I then got the biscuit and went home, thinking about my little story for today.

THE EnD..

And We All Lived Happily Ever After.

Oh, I had a suprise visit from Yuko, she gave me a Christmas card and some noodles. I haven't had a Christmas card from someone for years, other than family. It made me happy, yes, happy, heh.. We watched some Japanese comedy and Yuko showed me a bizzare American Christian kids puppet programme 'The Junior Christian Science Bible Lesson'.

Another Depressing Heading, Worthless

Whilst speaking with my cleaner the Greek fool came over to tell her he was leaving. He told her about some boxes he had left in his room. She wished him well, and told him to take care of himself. After he had gone we went to have a look at his room. He had left torn boxes everywhere, with food all over the floor and desk. Old tins in the bathroom, the toilet had pubic hair and piss all over the bowl. I hope I never see him again.

Went to meet Steve at 10:30 at Dol che Vita (Sweet Life), we drank coffee and talked about maths and old television programmes. He asked me about my sister, and was she married. I told him no, and that she is a gay. He said, "oh, I'm sorry about that." I looked at him confussed.

Later I went into the City and after a coffee bumped into Yuko. I pretended to look at some magazines in a magazine shop and books in the Library, then we went for tea and cake at the Greenhouse. Yuko talked about her masters dissertation on women in India. After we travelled home on the bus, Yuko said she was going to her friend's house.

When I returned to my accommodation the electricity was off so I travelled back on the bus into the City. I walked to Cinema City to see what films were showing, I didn't like what I saw.

Walking away quickly, I then stood on a street corner for three hours in the rain. As I had time to kill, I practiced some surveillance on a building. I had the ideal spot standing in the porch of a church. I had complete observation of all exits and entry to the target building. It was ok until an elderly couple arrived. The church I was using was to hold an event, and the elderly couple had arrived early. They didn't seem to worried I was on my own, and standing in the dark with a scarf wrapped around my face. Infact, they thought I was waiting for the doors to open too. I managed to chat to the lady while I maintained my observation.

After three hours of waiting for nothing and nobody I then walked to Prince of Whales Road to go eat vegetarian pizza. On the bus home I held my head in my hands and kept stopping myself from mummbling 'basteds' to myself.

I'm now home and trying hard to keep my grip on reality. Remember, Happiness is a choice, allegedly. I'm so fucking tired of liars, I've got no time for them. Why is it impossible for me to make just one honest friend- I give-up.

Walking for Nonsense

Didn't have anything to do today 'cept maybe some mathematics calculus. I have no money, I was going to use my credit card, but the bank played another trick on me and fucked me over again. Even though I payed off the balance last time I checked, they added some interest without telling me and now it's interest upon interest and 2 quid turns into 30 quid.

So I'm not spending any money all I can do is use my pass to ride the bus into town. Thought I would go check when the Christmas service at the Cathedral was on from the schedule. I ended up walking very slowly around the Cathedral in meditation. I must have looked like a weirdo but nobody said anything, just coughed, whatever!! I continued my slow pace out of the Cathedral onto the streets. Walking a Little faster now, I found because of my peaceful slow pace I noticed my surroundings more and the intentions of other people. If that makes sense, I'm not prepared to explain anymore nonsense for you. :D

Met up with my parents outside the Forum. We had coffee, and they told me how they had been watching the local news yesterday and were shocked to see me on some old footage about a protest a year ago.
http://www.itvlocal.com/anglia/?player=ANG_HomePage_15&void=270786

Seriously Trust You_

Met with mum today, I walked to the bus station my head throbbing with toothache. I have been looking for a Barbie Umbrella as a Christmas gift to my niece. I really hate Barbie toys and everything about them but if that's what I'm told to get I will. The other day I went to Toys 'r' Us, but had to walk-out as they wanted me to leave my bag with them at the front desk. Being asked to leave my bag with people has started to happen more and more recently, after I was asked the very same thing at the Library. Mum and I did Christmas shopping and she also bought me loads of painkillers. I have absolutely no money left. If I could remember my pin code for my credit card then I would use that. After a cocktail of prescription drugs I am feelling much better.

I'm really angry with many people I know, and it's strange because even though I like them, when I think too much about my shitty life and how it isn't what I want, I get angry and stop myself from breaking my fist against the wall. I have many hurdles to overcome within my life.

It pain's me to say it, but, if I've trusted you; then I considered you intelligent enough to keep quiet, but I don't think you have been. There's no nice way of saying this but, "SHUT THE FUCK UP!!!"


I realise how dodgy this post looks. But it's just an over reaction to some minor issues. Heh ...73

Choose Maths not People

I've been working and worrying about my coursework assignments of late. When I worry I start to buy lots of books. So far I have bought two new books on Calculus, and a load of Cisco books from Oxfam. I have four days to learn the first part of my maths course.




This is a new blog started by my friend. It's in connection to her website:

Fun Stuff to do with your Children from the Tickety-Boo Site

Tickety-Boo Designs

Baader Meinhof Complex

Don't imagine that you knew them..

Attacked Again

It snowed, I got attacked by a twat.

I've been just thinking about databases and trying to forget everything else.
The Greek idiot is spitting at me when I walk out of the building.
Whenever I remember, I get so fucking angry!! I have started drinking Guinness before bed. I think Bigm000 might be going to bed permanently.

Unacceptable

Whenever you get told off by human resources at work, they will usually tell you that, "this is unacceptable!!!" Just recently for the last couple of days, I have been very unacceptable. I will become better and realise some of the things I think and do must not happen any longer. Bad M000!!! I went to the army surplus to buy lots of green German military clothing.

I noticed that the girl from the coffee shop was at the bus stop, but she didn't get-on, but, she walked past me as I got off the bus at the UEA.

I went to see 'Ghost World' today at the Odeon. It was entertaining but nothing great.

Alex and Yuko came to see me tonight. Alex has planned a dinner party thingy for tomorrow. I'm not sure if I should go. I have work to do, but I don't want to upset Alex if I haven't already. I'm such an indecisive tit.

Stay Away

Norwich Cathedral have a tactic of putting old people on guard, whilst Church services are in progress. Their main task is to meet and greet visitors to the Cathedral. Unfortunately what they actually do is pretend they don't know who you are, and try their best to persuade you not to go inside.

(click) Here is some Information about some Nice Cheese

I went to Marks and Spencer to buy some crackers and cheese. I picked-up the first wedge of Stilton I saw, then very quickly put it back after realising my mistake. It cost 11 quid. I also bumped into Shawn who has got himself a weekend job. From what I could see his job consists of wearing bad clothes and having to be friendly to TWATS, including me.

Bored Control

A lady in the Cathedral stopped me to talk about the 'Battle of Britain' lace that's on display. I already knew everything about the lace depicting spitfires and the bombing of London, but felt that she really needed someone to tell. So I pretended to be interested until some Americans came and took over.

Nearly another fight in the street today.

Just recently I have been mumbling German words on the bus, yes OK, that's not good. But today, on my way home a large group of German people boarded. Filling the air with what German people do.

I know all this might sound strange, but just recently I'm finding it hard to bite my lip and stay silent.
Spent two hours youtubing Ian Curtis.

I've heard it before, and I heard someone else say it today, "Happiness is a choice."
In extreme situations like the orphans in Romania; is happiness still a choice ? No, I don't think so...but maybe in Norwich England; where we can find distractions from our worries, happiness for ourselves maybe a choice.


I sometimes worry that someone will ask me what I'm thinking while I ride the bus home. It isn't pretty..

Marked Marked Man

For some reason my cheap printer didn't include a USB2 cable. You have to purchase it separately. So I spent more money today buying USB cable, printing paper, a mini fridge and fish 'n' chips. Hahaha!!!

The mini fridge, though very un-green of me, is so good. one-day I will be able to use it to transport vaccines to needy people in remote areas, on my motorcycle. At the moment I'm using it to store cheese and two pints of milk.

Had a look in the cathedral. There seemed to be some kind of meeting going on. Someone had asked the panel of religious people (not sure who they were, think vicar / nuns) about same sex partners. I appeared from the back of the seated crowd, and I think scared them, as suddenly they decided the meeting was over. I guess they probably thought I was from the gay mafia, come to make sure they said the right thing.

Been looking around Japan resort in Second Life recently..there's nobody there, like first life. I typed this last sentence with my feet.

A Breath of Fresh Metta

(Click) The Soup Nazi (Click) The Best Seinfeld Episode...




Woke up late at 9:30, too late to go to math lecture. Pooo!!! Took a shower and dressed to go into the city. Went to the Buddhist Centre, for meditation lesson. Met someone new, a guy called Andrew. Andrew has previously been to UEA and done a master's degree in Biology. Tom was trying to get people who volunteer at the centre, to give him a quote on why volunteering is such a good idea. I would have tried to help him, but anything with my name on will instantly loose all credibility and value.

Despite spending some time talking about not buying material stuff; I bought a cheap printer for 35 Squid. I carried the printer home on the bus trying not to kneecap people on the way. errr.. well I didn't try too hard...obviously!!

Dumped my printer in my room, then went to see a guy at the 'Dean of Student's Office.' Ian Gillespie was just about to go home, but, very kindly returned to his office to discuss my problems. He listened and gave me another contact detail. It looks like I will have to try and swap rooms. Then hopefully I will be away from nutjob.

For dinner I ate five dohnuts.

Drowning the Blind

Travelled home to restock on DVDs, books and CDs, and do some clothes washing. Dad said I could have his bike so I took it for a test ride down the end of the road and back again. If I find somewhere to put it I will happily take it off his hands.

My parents gave me a lift back to the UEA just in time to go see the film showing of 'Occupation 101.' I recognised some people from 'Stop the War' there but didn't say hello. I returned to my room alone to eat humus and stilton crackers.

Drinking coffee, eating dohnuts. Hugging pillows. Listening to Chinese people talk. Drinking monkey tea. Eating crackers and stilton. Reading about PKCS#12.


( Click) Please come join me for Monkey Tea ? ( Click )

Seven Three Japanda

There are no lectures this week 'cept math. Went to the 'Copper Kettle' for a vegetarian breakfast. I plagiarised some text from a magazine about Microsoft registery forensics. Came home watched some crap online, browsed Facebook. Because this week at UEA it's a reading week, Japanda Lesson was cancelled. I intended to leave my room for 10 minutes; but, ended-up riding the busses, walking the streets eating junk food. Came home with a packet of biscuits and two tubes of Pringles.


Here's a picture of a Vampire monkey:

Smeg Head

I got pushed and shouted at again today.

More Soup?

I actually made some applications for work today. Just small part-time work, though I get the impression I may have left things too late. I definitely need some money, I'm totally skint.

Spent some time throwing away old letters from old jobs. After everything was tidy I went to heat some soup for tonight's bonfire and fireworks. I had just bought a cheap new flask, but pouring the soup into the flask was tricky. Most of the soup went over the kitchen sink.

At six o'clock I stood outside and waited for Kuyo to arrive. No big surprise, but it was raining outside and slightly chilly.

I'm such a fool, under my instruction we walked to Eaton park not Earlham. Obviously as we approached Eaton park I realised I had got it wrong. Yuko I think knew but didn't say anything, thinking maybe I knew something she didn't. Hahah!! no chance. We walked back into campus, where Yuko took some pictures of me with my inverted umbrella and the UEA with fireworks in the background which just looked like a picture of UEA on fire.

Finally finding the right place we spent some time walking in the rain and mud. We followed a procession of people holding large puppet skeletons and banging drums down to the bonfire. As we waited kids were chanting, "burn him!!" After a long wait they finally set the fire. It wasn't very good. We looked around the fair which was crap.

When the fireworks finally started it was actually, impressive. Though the idea that I was still in Norwich spoilt it. Some dude kept speaking over a Tanoy system, which made him sound like Alan Partridge. After the fireworks we walked back-out through the mud, where I thanked Yuko and headed home, cold, wet and covered in mud.

Crying Shame?

I intended to get a job today. Traveled into the city. My aim was to use the buses to get to a business estate where the company offering work was located. Though, when I studied the bus timetable, I realised, it would have been impossible for me to travel in early enough in the morning, ready to start work...6am. Must find something closer.

My wish to cry was granted. It came in the form of a dream. I dreamt I was able to cry, it felt like such a relief.

I watched 'The Ipcress File,' and googled for 'flower dogs,' go on do it!!! I promise you will be amused.

Haven't been on Second Life for awhile. I miss my friends err... friend.